<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I Feel Like a God Right Now by amberlo133</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30064452">I Feel Like a God Right Now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberlo133/pseuds/amberlo133'>amberlo133</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BAMF Anakin Skywalker, Damn it the plot’s got away from me, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Choking (Star Wars), Holocron shenanigans, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Regular kinky choking, Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi, Top Obi-Wan Kenobi, Unresolved Sexual Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:48:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30064452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberlo133/pseuds/amberlo133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dooku tries to dose Anakin with dark power and bring him over to the Sith. Obi-Wan jumps on the grenade (holocron) and the repercussions might just change the course of the war.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>532</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you’re very sensitive to dubious consent this may not be for you. They’re both totally into each other, just initially flailing about consent in the context of holocron shenanigans.</p><p> </p><p>Unbetaed.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I’m getting a bad feeling about this, Anakin.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Really? Is it the distant sound of Rancors, or the isolated location combined with a mysterious tip off?”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“It does seem like trap, now that you mention it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The two Jedi are walking through a narrow ravine on what can barely be classified as planet. Dispatched by the Council to investigate a Jedi distress signal, they hadn’t thought it necessary to bring any of the clones but now the location is looking more and more like the perfect place for an ambush.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll know soon enough. The source of the signal is just up ahead.” Anakin lengthens his strides, keen to get to their objective but a deep voice from worryingly close by, brings him up short.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Just a little something from Grievous’ collection. I’m afraid whatever Jedi it belonged to must have fallen long ago.” Anakin whirls around, igniting his lightsaber as he goes. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Dooku!” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Count!” Obi-Wan’s voice is cheerful. “It seems you’ve requested our presence. To what do we owe the pleasure.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">From her hidden perch on the edge of the canyon Ventress rolls her eyes. If they stopped trading barbs with Jedi, maybe they could have got on with things, killed them all and won the war by now. She resettles the adapted slug thrower against her shoulder and peers through the scope. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">While she would prefer a more direct route to victory than this, Kenobi and Skywalker do have an uncanny ability to disrupt the most carefully laid plans. Despite the fact that they appear to share a single brain cell. She has no idea why this plan to tempt Skywalker to their side seems like a good idea to whoever Dooku’s master is. Maybe he hasn’t spent much time around the knight. He’s a complete disaster, no matter how powerful. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The count is talking the dynamic duo around in circles below, albeit more literally than usual. He is pacing slowly in a wide circle, forcing the Jedi to to move to as well. Anakin is clearly dying to just attack, through the scope she can see his knuckles tightening on the hilt of his saber and his weight shift onto the balls of his feet. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">His broad back comes into view. It isn’t a perfect shot yet but before the count can make another crack about his hand and push Skywalker into motion, Ventress pulls the trigger. The holocron flies straight and true at Anakin’s back. But at the last moment Obi-Wan catches sight of it, cries out and pushes Anakin out of the way. The artefact hits him instead, dead centre in his back, knocking the breath out of him. Instantly, it sprouts five appendages and they rise up before plunging down, sinking through layers of fabric to dig into flesh beneath. Fully anchored, the holocron settles, radiating a sinister red light.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Master!” Anakin shifts beneath Obi-Wan’s suddenly leaden weight, his voice panicked. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Up on the ridge Ventress curses and freezes as Dooku arrives at her perch, force assisted jumps bringing him easily up the cliff face.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“That idiot, Kenobi, took the shot! I will deal with it Master.” She moves to rise but Dooku waves a lazy hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“No matter. This may be to our advantage,” he smiles. “As we know, where there is a Kenobi, we will find Skywalker not far behind.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Ventress looks down at Skywalker bent over the form of his fallen master and an echo of Dooku’s smile spreads across her face. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Far below, Anakin jerks back at the sight of the artefact half buried in Obi-Wan’s back, he touches it gently only for his master to gasp in pain and rake his fingers through the loose dirt underneath him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Obi-Wan!” Anakin gently pulls him over, one arm beneath his shoulders to stop him lying on the tiny machine dug into his back. “Are you okay?” He glances behind them and sees no sign of Dooku.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Ask a stupid question...” Obi-Wan mutters, pressing a hand to his face. “I feel bruised. And strange; light headed.” Anakin pulls him into a sitting position and Obi-Wan rests his head against Anakin’s chest. That’s not a good sign. Obi-Wan always keeps his distance, he must be really hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Well, Dooku’s gone, at least.” His voice comes out unsure, channeling the fact that though he can’t see the count, he still feels the presence of the dark side. Even feels it increasing.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hardly good news,” Obi-Wan leans back on a elbow, bringing his hand to his head again. “Try to be less naive, Anakin. If he left when we were at our most vulnerable, likely his trap has already been sprung.” Anakin turns around to argue the point and his heart stops dead in his chest. When it restarts it seems to bring his entire body’s supply of adrenaline with it in a single beat and he scrambles away.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan’s eyes are pale gold. It would be beautiful if it didn’t bring Anakin’s entire world crashing down with it.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Master.” He stops and grimaces, calling someone with yellow eyes master is just wrong. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What?” There’s no lie in Obi-Wan’s eyes, he seems honestly confused. Is it Anakin’s imagination or is there more of a bite to the word that he would usually expect? It could just be the pain.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Your eyes, they’re yellow.” Those eyes widen and it seems almost to mock Anakin to see more of those golden irises. Apart from that, Obi-Wan doesn’t seem overly concerned. He just reaches up behind him to touch the metal sunk into his back and winces.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“This thing...that explains a lot,” he muses, his voice is calm and Anakin can feel his own panic increasing in inverse proportion.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What?” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan sinks back down onto his elbows.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“The force, this power I can feel, it must be coming from this thing. And it’s getting more intense by the second.” He inhales a breath through his nose, eyes closing lazily. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, force, no. They must have dosed you. Can they even do that? Poison someone with the dark side?” Not being able to see his master’s eyes is a massive improvement. But the expression on his face is indefinably wrong and Anakin can still feel the sense of the dark increasing. It’s like smoke on the air, spreading silently and catching at the back of his throat.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“So it seems. I have to say, it hardly feels like poison.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Neither would Spice, Master. Doesn’t mean it’s good,” he raps out, worry making his words harsh. Obi-Wan merely hums a noncommittal response and small stones start to rise up around his fingertips, followed by larger rocks further away.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“That’s it,” he steels himself and pulls Obi-Wan into a sitting position again to get a look at the machine in his back. “We need to get this out, right now.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He crouches down behind Obi-Wan, flesh hand on his shoulder to steady him and examines the machine. It reeks of the dark and while it is hard to tell with all the layers, it looks like the curved spikes have sunk fairly deep into Obi-Wan’s back. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Before he can take a closer look, their head’s both whip around to the west as they hear a much louder call from a Rancor than they have so far. Anakin curses under his breath and refocuses on the artefact with even more urgency. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The red centre seems to be burning through the cloth beneath, seeking flesh. He lays his fingers on it gently and sees if he can wiggle them underneath where the cloth is falling away. Obi-Wan hisses and jerks.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin,” he says, slow but threatening. He gently lays his fingers over Anakin’s where they rest on his shoulder and Anakin feels a shock at the sensation of skin on skin. He looks at his hand and then up to meet one of Obi-Wan’s gold eyes peering over his shoulder. “I’m not letting you poke around at something that’s attached itself to my spine.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“But...” he catches a hint of a smile before tiny lightning bolts dance from Obi-Wan’s fingers into his own and he yanks them back, cradling his hand to his chest. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Force lightning. He feels his jaw drop in horror. It didn’t hurt much but knowing that Obi-Wan is now capable of such a thing is a very different kind of blow. And after such a short time.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Does Obi-Wan even want this thing off? He hardly seems bothered and all Jedi wisdom says the dark side is intoxicating, addictive. The only reason Anakin hasn’t found it more so was that he gave into it during the worst moments of his life. His memory of the rush is clouded by the association of his mother’s death. And if Obi-Wan doesn’t want it off, is Anakin capable of forcing him? These days they’re closely enough matched when they spar that any match could go either way. Not that the war allows them the chance much anymore. Now that Obi-Wan can draw on this new power, it seems unlikely Anakin would be capable of subduing him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">But the power is clearly only expanding within him. Anakin needs to keep him stable long enough to find a way out of this. Time to take a risk.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Bond with me,” he instantly cringes at his lack of subtlety. Obi-wan raises his eyebrows and the corner of his mouth twitches. “This thing is pumping dark energy into you, it’s already destroying your control. Let me help you, keep you anchored.” A part of him deep inside laughs mirthlessly. Of all the Jedi to try and keep someone balanced and draw them back to the light, Knight Skywalker has to be the worst possible choice. But it is what Obi-Wan has always done for him and it’s unthinkable not to try and return the favour. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You know this is probably playing right into their hands.” He doesn’t sound like he cares very much. “They aimed this thing at you,” this time anger puts a growl in his voice. Clearly, regardless of the power coursing through him he doesn’t care for people attacking his old padawan. “If we reform the training bond you will be dragged in. It will effect you too.” Anakin’s heart leaps to hear the protective note in Obi-Wan’s voice. This must be how he can still reach him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t care,” he says belligerently and Obi-Wan gives him a slow smile. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” he settles into half lotus and holds his hand out. Anakin gingerly takes a seat in front of him, already uncertain, usually he would have to force the other man into a plan this reckless and such an easy agreement just highlights how badly wrong the whole mission has gone. Obi-Wan holds out a hand but instead of just letting it rest in Anakin’s, yanks him close, pressing their foreheads together. He feels Obi-Wan’s breath against his face and sees the golden eyes half lidded wait until the last moment to close.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He stretches out for his old Master in the force, ignoring the oily cloud of the dark power surrounding him. There at the wellspring of his power it is still pure, blinding light. He grasps the tendril Obi-Wan sends out with one of his own and the bond snaps into place. So easily done but his head snaps back with the force of it. Before Obi-Wan had always held back, bonds were only meant to be for teaching and emergencies. Anything more encouraged attachment. But now the other man clearly doesn’t care, Anakin is awash in his force signature and all the dark power that brings with it. For a moment he revels in it, nothing compares to feeling someone like this, no physical intimacy will come close. He lets his own power spill back over the bond and hears Obi-Wan hum in pleasure. Suddenly, he remembers that this time it will have to be him maintaining boundaries and pulls back, erecting reluctant shields. It is, at least, a relief to be away from that much of the darkness.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” Anakin takes a shaky breath and stands. “We have to get you back to the med droid and see if there’s a way to get that thing off.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan stands smoothly and gestures with a hand for him to lead the way. Anakin can feel his eyes on him all the way back to the shuttle and more disturbingly feels his mind pressing against Anakin’s own in the force. It’s not overly intrusive but he feels watched and examined, like soft fingertips are brushing and fluttering against the edges of his thoughts, intent and inquisitive. Halfway back Obi-wan finally breaks the silence.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What will you do if you can’t get this off?” He waves a hand at himself, ”if this was just how I was from now on.” The very thought sends a wave of horror through Anakin. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I...”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">What would he do? Ever since he came to the Jedi he has been watched, everyone half hopeful, half suspicious. And the Council has always fallen firmly on the suspicious side, waiting for his fear and emotions to cause his inevitable downfall. Of course, he had already proved them right when let the dark side fuel his bloody revenge against the Tusken Raiders. Since then he has often imagined confessing to Obi-Wan, seeing the horror and disgust and being dragged before the Council to be sentenced. But it had always been him! He would be judged, would be punished. Not Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He could have never conceived that it would be his duty to turn Obi-Wan over to their not so tender mercy. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan stops and tilts his head to the side, as if listening, breaking Anakin’s panicked train of thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Something’s coming, I can feel a threat...”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“It wouldn’t be you would it?” Anakin mutters and Obi-wan gives him a swift, wolfish smile. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Flatterer,” he purrs and Anakin shivers at the tone, then has a minor crisis at his own response. Now is not the time for his ill-fated love affair with Obi-Wan’s voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">His struggles are interrupted when the ground ten feet in front of them suddenly explodes upwards and the arms of a rancor emerge, dragging itself up from what must be part of a cave system. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Run!” His voices erupts with an embarrassing edge of panic and his legs scramble to keep up with his mind’s orders. He has only managed to sprint about thirty feet before he realises Obi-Wan is no longer with him and has, in fact, disappeared entirely. Apparently, getting dosed with dark power only increases his Master’s tendency to leave him to get chased around by Rancors. Remembering last time he grabs for his lightsaber, at least this time he has his weapon. He lights it up only have the ground disappear violently out from under his feet as the hungry beast swipes away a chunk of earth as if it were piles of leaves. He tumbles into a roll and bounces up again, aiming a swipe of his saber at the creature's massive arm. It roars in pain and anger and sends a show of rocks and boulders pelting towards him with it’s other hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He catches most of the debris with a twirl of his saber but one rock gets through and catches him in the back of the knee. His face hits the dirt because it’s that or get up close and personal with his own lightsaber. A significant portion of his early training had focused on not dismembering himself on his weapon. There was a good reason only people with uncanny reflexes use weapons made of pure energy. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He rolls over onto his back and adjusts his grip on the hilt. He doesn’t really want to kill the creature but if it’s kill or be killed, he knows what he’s choosing. It rears above him and lets out another enraged scream.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, it’s massive head jerks up and back as if hit in the jaw by an uppercut, then hangs there for a second, not quite off the ground but close. Anakin looks around in confusion, trying to place the new threat. A mix of relief and apprehension floods him as he sees Obi-Wan standing on a rock, hand raised and a look of concentration on his face. It must be him stopping the creature and it’s a frightening display of power. But nothing to what Anakin feels when Obi-Wan snaps his hand closed and the creature’s snout just crumples in on itself. As it collapses to the ground Obi-Wan jumps down from the rocks, dusting his hands and strides over to Anakin.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">”Nice distraction.” Anakin mentally stamps his horror down. He’s seen Obi-Wan do that to clankers, of course, but to do it to something organic...</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I live to serve, Master,” he snarks back automatically and then wishes he’d gone with horror, when he sees the lazy raised eyebrow Obi-Wan sends his way.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Really? I must have missed the notification. I’ll have to take better advantage in future.” Anakin coughs and jerks to his feet.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Right, shuttle.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Of course, the day doesn’t get better from there. The med droid reports that the technology is unknown and in a sensitive position. It recommends consulting a senior healer. So predictable, Anakin wants to disassemble it out of spite.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It does give approval to clean the wounds from the spikes that are holding it place. Which is going to be a difficult procedure given the spikes are passing through at least three layers of fabric.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I think I’ll have to cut this all off, anything else is going to be pretty painful.” Obi-Wan sighs and removes his belt. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Go on then.” Anakin takes the scissors from the medical kit and slices of the ends of the tabard and then cuts a hole around the holocron in the cream tunic. It feels sacrilegious to destroy the traditional garments this way, even if it is entirely fitting with the rest of the mission. Obi-Wan shrugs out of the layers and Anakin makes short work of the undertunic as well, exposing broad shoulders and scattered scars from a long life on the front lines, even before there was an actual war. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Now comes the tricky bit. Anakin sits back on his heels behind where Obi-Wan is seated on the low bunk. He’ll have to cut right up to each spike through all three layers and then ease the material out. It takes all his focus and for a while the only sounds are Obi-Wan’s occasional hisses of pain. It’s strangely easy to relax into a task that takes all his concentration and it’s only when he grabs Obi-Wan’s hip to steady himself and hears an intake of breath that isn’t pained, that realisation crashes back that this isn’t a droid he’s tinkering with.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Scraps of cloth finally gone and the reality of the machine embedded in his friend’s back is much more stark. It looks distinctly evil, sinking into skin and muscle, like a metallic spider with a glowing red centre. It has fitted to ObiWan perfectly, its centre settled in the deep groove between muscle that follows Obi-Wan’s spine down to his waist band. Anakin has to repress an urge to dig his fingers into that muscle, it isn’t the first time he has patched Obi-Wan up after a fight and it is always a very specific kind of torture. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Grabbing a cloth and some bacta Anakin cleans away the dried blood carefully. His gloved hand grips Obi-Wan’s side to steady himself and he is dimly grateful for how it deadens the feeling of warm, soft skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“It looks like it’s healing.” Obi-wan hums an agreement and rolls his shoulders, stretching out the muscles. Anakin watches them move and feels it against where his black gloved thumb presses into skin with a suddenly dry mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“It certainly doesn’t hurt any more,” he shifts around and leans against the back of the bunk, smilling at Anakin’s slow reactions. “It must be designed to stay.” Anakin finds himself kneeling in front of him as Obi-Wan slouches on the bunk and shoots to his feet. “I suppose you should find me some other clothes,” he pauses for a heavy moment a smile still playing around his mouth. “Unless you’d prefer to stare a little more.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Yes!” Anakin whirls away as Obi-Wan barks out a laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, you’ll find some other clothes or yes, you’d like to stare longer? You don’t have to pretend you weren’t looking. I’ve always known you wanted me.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What? I don’t...” Desperately, Anakin starts to deny it but inside he already knows he is so fucked. He’s been attracted to Obi-Wan since knew what that meant. He also knows that he couldn’t have hidden it very well when he was young. It’s likely that Obi-Wan just did him the curtesy of pretending not to notice. And doesn’t that thought make him burn with embarrassment and shame. But surely he hadn’t slipped up recently? He could pretend it was all a teenage fascination. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, you’d like to think so, wouldn’t you?” If anything Anakin’s heartbeat ratchets up another notch. Obi-Wan is in his head? But of course, the bond. He’s been stupid enough to bond to someone who is, for all intensive purposes, currently a Sith and now he’s paying the price. “But how sound proof do you think the ‘freshers on these star destroyers really are? I’ve heard your choked off moans.” Anakin’s face is burning, he wants nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow him but Obi-Wan’s voice doesn’t stop, just carries on smooth, velvety and unrelenting. “And even if I couldn’t, you have no idea how loud you are in the force. There’s been times I could almost taste your desperation. Of course, it wouldn’t be nearly as bad if you weren’t always thinking of me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Why are you saying this?” He says through gritted teeth.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Why not? It is true, is it not?” Anakin is not going to answer that, in this specific case the Jedi code of repression and denial suits him just fine. He won’t turn to look at his master. He doesn’t need to see the other man’s cruel amusement at his shame, he can hear it all too clearly. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll get some clothes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He leaves the cabin but instead of going to the stores he heads straight to the cockpit and calls the Council. If he needed any more proof of how the power had changed Obi-wan, here it is. Between the force lightning, casual disregard for life and cruelty, it is worth the risk to see if the Council can help. If not? Well he can always find another way. It isn’t like it will be the first time he ignores a decision from them.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Master Yoda and Windu’s image flicker to life on the console.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Skywalker. How goes the mission.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Very badly. I need immediate assistance from as many of the Council as possible.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What...” Windu interjected but Anakin cuts across him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Obi-Wan has been dosed with dark power he...” Suddenly, Anakin feels a pressure on his throat and he can’t get out the rest of the sentence. He lifts a hand to his neck but feels it slam back down on the arm of the chair.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He sees Yoda’s eyes widen before a finger flips the switch and cuts off the transmission</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now, now, Anakin. That was uncalled for.” The grip around his throat yanks him up and sends him sprawling back towards the door to the cockpit. He looks up to see Obi-Wan standing over him, still naked from the waist up and his voice filled with rage. “I realise this is difficult for you, an uncomfortable mirror,” he said biting the words out. “But to betray me to the Council!” Anakin gasps out a few breaths as the chokehold eases and pushes himself across the floor, away from Obi-Wan’s crackling presence. The display of power and precision is terrifying but he shoves down his reaction to the force choke and focuses on the words, letting his own rage flare in response.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I would never betray you!” He stumbles to his feet and continues backing away. For a moment he considers reaching for his lightsaber, but the last thing he wants to do is escalate this. As his mind shies away from the idea of attacking Obi-Wan his voice gentles. “But this isn’t you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just because you feel humiliated?” Obi-Wan stalks towards him again backing him into the main cabin. He even moves differently now, he has always drawn the eye but in a calm, commanding way. Now he compels Anakin to look, because to ignore him feels like being open to an attack. The constant wariness that comes with being in a small space with a predator presses in on him. “Because I told the truth rather than putting up with your laughable attempt to hide things from me?” Anakin’s back hits the wall and Obi-Wan still comes on, until he can feel the breath on his face and see the red bleeding in from the corners of Obi-Wan’s irises. He feels more than sees a fist strike the wall next to his head as Obi-Wan leans in. “Am I so insufficiently repressed now, that you have to call the Council? Do you have any idea what they would do to me if they can’t get this thing off.” Anakin forces himself not to look away. Fear and anger vie for control inside him and he is delighted to welcome them, if only to cover up the heat he felt building at the sight of his master bearing down on him with all his usual restraint abandoned. His instincts are screaming at him, to run, to go for his saber, to pull Obi-Wan closer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They wouldn’t hurt you. They’re everything you’ve fought for, everything you believe in!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, I’ve fought for them. I’ve bled and killed for them. And they would cut me down or lock me up in an instant, if they thought I would disrupt the balance.” Anakin looks down, frowning. ”You know it’s true.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So why did you call them? I never thought you would do that.” Obi-Wan steps away from him and there is something honestly hurt in his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Because you would have. I know that I’m not a good Jedi but </span> <span class="s2">you are</span> <span class="s1">! The best. I couldn’t face you if I didn’t do everything in my power to stop you falling to this.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And if they couldn’t stop it? What then?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then I’d find another way. Take you back from them and find something else.” Obi-Wan smiles, a blend between his usual sweet expression and something more triumphant.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You would, wouldn’t you. So very loyal.” He steps closer again and the tone of his voice changes. “I never minded you know. Hearing you gasp and moan, feeling that pressure on my mind get hotter.” Anakin jerks his eyes down to meet the smoky gold ones before him, they’re lighter again now. All the red faded away. Obi-Wan can’t really mean what he thinks. Can he? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, that’s not true, I was appalled, obviously,” disbelief justified, Anakin pushes off the wall and strides away, hunching his shoulders, barely hearing more as Obi-Wan continues. “At my own reaction. You were right, when you were younger it was easy to dismiss, you were a teenager, you couldn’t keep your eyes of Aayla either. But now?” He pauses and when he continues there’s an edge of disbelief in his voice. “Now you lounge around our quarters overengineering your arm, looking like something that stepped out of a Jedi themed erotic holovid. And I try not to look. Try not to listen, try not to feel you in the force.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry, I never wanted you to know, to be uncomfortable. Everyone tells me I’m too loud I should have guessed you would be able to...hear.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh you’re definitely...intense.” He hears a rustle of fabric as Obi-Wan moves behind him. “I’ve no idea how Ventress and Dooku keep away. You certainly don’t need to worry about me running off. The power in you is calling to me constantly.” The voice is right behind him, so close Obi-Wan must be only half a step away. ”You feel like being in a thunderstorm, like seeing lightning flash and waiting for the thunder.” Obi-Wan laughs softly, “and don’t those Council members hate it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you don’t?” He’s desperately hoping Obi-Wan will say no, he hasn’t seemed to ever mind Anakin’s chaos, was always happy to be around Anakin when other Jedi were cautious and watchful. He sways back slightly towards the other man, body moving without thinking, following the hope in his words.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Well, I </span> <span class="s2">am</span> <span class="s1">used to it. And I’ve always rather liked it.” Are those feather light fingers on his shoulders? “All that potential. Maybe I’m an adrenaline junkie.” Anakin resists the urge to laugh, ‘maybe’, Obi-Wan is absolutely an adrenaline junkie, the only reason he can get away with pretending he isn’t is because Anakin is so much worse. Obi-Wan pushes against him the force and hums with pleasure. The usual cold, empty feeling of dark power is masked by the familiar warmth of Obi-Wan’s force signature. There is more of a burn to his presence than usual but it’s hardly unpleasant, like spices on the tongue or sinking into slightly too hot water. It feels glorious and Anakin opens his mind up further. Why shouldn’t he? Clearly Obi-Wan already knew his dirty little secrets. He hears a chuckle behind him and hands sliding down his back.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, I do. But please, if there’s any more detail you’d like to share...” Anakin feels hands undoing his belt and dropping it to the floor, swiftly followed by his tabards. He feels a momentary regret at losing his lightsaber but it wasn’t like he was going to use it anyway. It is only when Obi-Wan drags his tunic off his shoulders that the cool air cuts through the delicious warmth blanketing his mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What does it feel like? I’m starting to think you’re being deliberately obtuse.” Obi-Wan pulls hard on his shoulder and turns him around, manhandling him back up against the wall and taking Anakin’s chin in his hand so he can’t look away. “I never minded hearing you. You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” He laughs softly and presses forward, sliding a leg between Anakin’s and breathing into his ear. “Uncomfortably hard, maybe. And you wonder why I spend so much time meditating.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Anakin’s voice comes out in a desperate whisper and he can’t seems to decide between pushing back against the wall, trying to keep his hips and rapidly hardening cock away from Obi-Wan or melting into the feel of rough beard against his neck and a hand sliding up into his hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You heard.” Obi-Wan loses patience with Anakin’s attempts to hold himself back and deliberately rolls his hips into him, grinding them together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master,” Anakin means it as a protest but comes out as a moan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You love this,” Obi-Wan’s voice is quietly surprised and pleased and he fists his hand hard in Anakin’s hair just to hear him gasp out a confirmation. “You love being pushed around, giving up control to me. Is that why you always argue with me? You want me to push back?” Anakin dimly hopes he isn’t supposed to answer that, he’s not sure he can form words right now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan releases Anakin’s hair and slides a down his throat instead, leaving Anakin’s head tipped back against the durasteel wall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can do that,” he murmurs and Anakin feels a white hot flash of heat at the promise in the words. While Obi-Wan’s hand stays resting gently along the column of his throat, the force gathers around it and Anakin feels pressure increasing, it’s not enough to completely cut of his air but his vision starts to sparkle as blood flow decreases. His thoughts sputter and cut out almost completely. Letting his self-consciousness go, he moans and rolls his hips, desperate for friction.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are so beautiful. I tried not to imagine this, think about how you would look falling apart under my hands. I was a fool.”He releases the pressure from Anakin’s throat and lets him gasp out a few breaths, free hand roaming over his chest. The hand on his neck moves up to his face, thumb brushing along his lower lip. Anakin looks down at Obi-Wan panting, the golden eyes are dark, pupils blown wide and intent on his face. He’s so close they’re sharing breath and Obi-Wan leans in until his mouth is almost brushing against Anakin’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kiss me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even as Anakin’s body screams at him to comply his mind locks down, shockingly sudden. No. He won’t. Shields rise up inside his mind, protecting at least part of him from the waves of pleasure and desperation. If there is even a chance Obi-Wan returns his feelings, this won’t be the first time they do this. Not like this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sensing the change, Obi-Wan withdraws, starting to frown. Anakin takes advantage of his confusion and reaches down to grab the shorter man behind his thigh, his other arm wrapping around Obi-Wan’s broad chest and burying his face in the crook of his neck. He picks him up with little difficulty, despite an outraged sound from his master that turns into a laugh when he realises Anakin is taking him over the bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin turns when he gets there and sits, pulling Obi-Wan down on top of him. Before he has a chance to get distracted, he grabs Obi-Wan by his hair and presses their foreheads together, opening up the bond as wide as possible. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2"> <em>Master</em> </span> <span class="s1">, he calls into the force. He pushes forward with all the power he usually tries to force down. There’s no finesse, just brute strength but he’s desperate. He burns a corridor of light through the darkness surrounding Obi-Wan’s mind and calls to him again.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">I’m right here, Anakin.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, he’s standing before Obi-Wan both of them fully clothed again and everything around them is bright white with a tinge of blue. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Master?</em> He says it tentatively, he has no idea what he’s doing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Who else? Why were you shouting when I’m...I was, right on top...”</em> He trails to a stop and all the colour drains from his face. Against the pale skin Anakin feels a crushing relief to see his eyes are a perfect, clear blue.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Thank the force.</em> He stumbles forward reaching for Obi-Wan in relief but the man pulls away from him so hard the whole vision trembles. He falls to his knees at the pain shooting through his skull. <em>Master! Stop fighting me. I can’t hold this if you...</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Anakin, I’m so sorry,</em> Obi-Wan reaches for him and then stops.<em> I’m sorry for everything, I should never have said those things to you.</em> Anakin coughs remembering those things with a little too much warmth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yes, well, I should have. Stopped you. Stopped, something, I don’t know...Master, I am so far out of my depth right now. You’ve always been my compass, the standard I measured myself by.</em> Obi-Wan buries his face in his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Anakin, if nothing else this should have proved to you I am not perfect.</em> His mind helpfully interjects all the new ways he had been finding Obi-Wan perfect and he blushes, trying to concentrate.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I need your help, how can we keep this contained until the Council get here. Can they even help?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I have no idea,</em> he pauses sounding very lost. <em>Anakin, it all feels so good. I don’t know if i can fight it. I don’t know if I can want to fight it.</em></span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I need you to. I can’t fight you master. Even apart from your, er, literal interpretation on seducing someone to the dark side. If you fall, what hope is there for me?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Anakin, no. Don’t say that!</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>It’s true. Windu will murder me within the week without you to run interference.</em> It’s a weak joke but Obi-Wan chokes out a laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Well, that might be true enough. Can you hold this stasis? </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I don’t know. Maybe? Its not like I’ve ever done something like this before. And I don’t know how time moves for us here. I’m also not keen on Windu and Yoda walking in on you sprawled all over me. </em>Obi-Wan winces. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>That, should be avoided, I think</em>. He wanders away a few paces, reaching a hand out to the light around them. <em>Anakin, how did you do this?</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Are you asking me if I had a plan? Because I really think you should know better.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Oh, fine. But this is amazing. Is this your mind or mine? </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yours? It feels like yours. And I passed through all that power to get here.</em> Obi-Wan lets out a thoughtful sound. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>It feels like where I am when I meditate. I wonder if we could push the power back into the holocron. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>We couldn’t remove it without a healer though, it’s too risky.</em> Anakin is immediately wary, it would be just like his Master to sacrifice himself rather than give in to something like this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I think if I wasn’t taken by surprise, I could probably stop it taking over. He pauses a moment, considering. It would take all of my focus though.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>No one beats you at focusing,</em> mutters Anakin, his mind playing a reel of Obi-Wan meditating at the most ridiculous times and places. His master looks at him unamused, looks like he’s about to pick up that old argument and then sighs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I’m not sure it matters, anyway. There’s just too much of this power. If I touch it again I won’t be able to see the point in forcing it away.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Together, then.</em> Anakin rearranges himself into a seated position and breathes deeply starting to draw on the force. As always, it answers his call. Power boils up behind Anakin and he feels ashamed to let his Master see this. While Obi-Wan’s centre of power is this perfect white blue, almost like his lightsaber, Anakin’s is murky. The energy is swirling grey, shot through with every colour. But it doesn’t stop coming. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Anakin...this is all you?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Yes.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I never knew, he pauses, you can control all of this?</em> Anakin laughs without any real humour. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Define control</em>. Obi-Wan doesn’t look surprised, just nods thoughtfully.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>We need to go back to your training. If I knew you could pull on this much power so easily, I would have done things differently.</em> He absently brings a hand to his beard. <em>And we should bring in Master Yoda.</em> Anakin rolls his eyes to cover up a fond smile. He should have known Obi-Wan would react like this, no fear, just problem solving. He is suddenly seeing a lot of meditation in his future.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yes, Master</em>. He closes his eyes and stops the stream of power for now, rising to his feet. He looks at Obi-Wan and raises his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Right</em>. Obi-Wan strides over to join him and they look out together at the dark power crowding in at the edges of Obi-Wan’s mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With the combined intensity of Obi-Wan’s centre of power and Anakin’s endless, tempestuous strength at their back, they move in unison. It’s slow work but they sweep the dark power back, starting at the bond behind them. It fights them every step of the way, spitting and sending out burning tendrils, like solar flares, reaching towards them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they get close to the holocron itself, their exhaustion is obvious, showing in the panting and sweating of their avatars. Then the power changes tactics, showing them images of what could be, if only they give in. It flashes back to before, Obi-Wan with his fist around Anakin’s throat, making his blue eyes heavy lidded and darkened with lust. Then Anakin on his knees, Obi-Wan’s hand fisted in his hair as he slowly fucks his mouth. His eyes are streaming with tears but it’s clear he’s painfully hard.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their concentration stutters, Anakin desperately wonders which of their minds the holocron got that from. Obi-Wan makes a strangled noise and the dark power surges towards them again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin reaches out to Obi-Wan in the force, no words, just desperation that they have to finish this. His old Master steadies, thrusting the power back once more.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But they still have a way to go and the dark power seems to know it has found a weakness. It throws up more images, them bed together, Obi-Wan moving above Anakin, head thrown back. Anakin pressing into Obi-Wan with his back against transparisteel, legs wrapped around Anakin’s waist as he thrusts into him. Is that the Council chamber? Anakin’s pretty sure it isn’t him that’s thought about having sex in there! His concentration almost fails completely at the thought that Obi-Wan has sat in some long Council meeting and thought about Anakin fucking him up against the wall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When that fails, the holocron shows them something else. Obi-Wan on a throne, Anakin sprawled between his legs, two sets of yellow eyes looking out over the clone armies. Ventress, Dooku and another hooded figure in chains before them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As they reach the holocron itself, one on each side, forcing the power back into its old home, it throws out one last image. Obi-Wan stepping down out of shuttle and throwing his arms around Anakin, pulling him in and kissing him without shame or hesitation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The force around them pulses with sadness and a wordless noise is ripped from one or both of them. But they finish the job and stand over the holocron panting.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their eyes meet and then the vision melts away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next thing Anakin feels is his fingers loosening in his Master’s hair as Obi-Wan slips off his lap.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When you’re ready, I could use your help in the meditation. I’ll need you to intercede if I start slipping.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course.” Anakin already feels bereft at the distance between them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan sinks into a meditation pose and Anakin quickly dons his robes again before dropping a spare cloak around Obi-Wan’s bare shoulders.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels a distant flutter of thanks through their bond as he settles in front of Obi-Wan. He can feel that his Master has already sunk deep into stillness, keeping himself in balance and the power in the holocron separate. Anakin is terrible at that kind of meditation and regardless he is meant to be keeping watch, so he just wraps his power all the way around his Master and settles in to wait.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Three short breaks and an endless amount of meditation later, Anakin dimly feels several force signatures approaching, like wandering supernovas. He feels Obi-Wan become aware as well but they stay where they are. Clearly the holocron can feel the other presences too, maybe even before they could and it is has started battering against Obi-Wan again. He holds it off but it is taking all he has, plus drawing on Anakin’s strength through their bond.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin hears Windu’s voice, urgent and harried, then Yoda’s calmer tones. When they enter the room, Anakin can feel them, Master Plo Koon, Jocasta Nu. Is that Quinlan Vos? They really did bring anyone they could lay their hands on. Plus three others he can’t immediately place.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Anakin</em>, his master’s voice in his mind is strained.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Master, what do you need?</em> Obi-Wan doesn’t seem to have any words for him, just a desperate plea. Anakin follows the feel of him and finds himself back in the other man’s mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks exhausted, deep groves and purple smudges line around his eyes and the avatar is...flickering? Almost closer to force ghost than living man. Anakin goes to him at once and take him in his mental arms. Obi-Wan grips him tight, drawing on his strength. Anakin channels that endless power the force has given him into the greying figure and feels it growing stronger. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Not long now.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I can feel them removing it. It hurts.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Stay here. Stay with me.</em> A cry is ripped from Obi-Wan and suddenly he sinks into Anakin’s arms.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>It’s gone</em>. Anakin sighs with relief and feels a wave of gratitude bubble up inside that’s so strong it’s blinding.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Let’s never do that again</em>. There is a soft chuckle from somewhere around his neck and then he feels Obi Wan slip into exhausted sleep. He takes his weight and carries him to the ground, arranging him so that Anakin can stay wrapped around him as Obi-Wan’s spirit heals.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he wakes it is in the Temple’s med centre and Obi-Wan is still asleep in the bed next to him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine, he will be.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master Yoda.” Regardless of Yoda’s words Anakin pushes himself upright and reaches into his bond with Obi-Wan to confirm. He finds his spirit resting peacefully and much stronger than it had felt last time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never have I seen a Master resist that evil.” Anakin’s eyes dart back to Yoda instantly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve heard of it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Destroyed many Jedi it has. Curious that resist it Master Kenobi could.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He hardly got off easy,” Anakin snaps, it feels like Yoda is fishing and he has no patience for that, especially while Obi-Wan is still unconscious.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Help him you did? And yet yourself were not corrupted.” Anakin snorts, firstly he’s been corrupted for a while now and secondly, he’s not sure Yoda understands exactly how hard Obi-Wan did try to corrupt him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was tempted.” He hesitates and tries not to think too hard about that. “But he was so different. His respect for life, for the code, for everything. It makes him who he is. The holocron destroyed that in him. I could never watch him be torn apart like that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm,” Yoda grunts in approval. “Wise are your words,” he closes his eyes in concentration. “Blended your spirits are.” Anakin’s heart jumps into his mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Leant him the strength to fight you did.” Yoda opens his eyes to see Anakin’s panicked face. “So worried!” He pokes Anakin with his walking stick in a way that hasn’t done in years. “Think you that we would criticise a bond that saved a Master from falling? Hmmm?” Anakin resists saying that had been exactly what he’d expected and that the Council rarely showed any common sense when it came to these things. “Deprived the Sith of a great asset in Kenobi you have.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They were aiming at me.” The words fall out of his mouth without his consent. He never meant to give the Council any more proof that even the Sith think that he is ripe to fall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. More balanced a Master should always be than his student. The same for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan it would have been.” He stares intently at Anakin for a moment. “At war, many opportunities there are to fall. Think of what that power did to Kenobi when come to tempt you it does.” He pauses again and prods Anakin until he meets his gaze. “Comes for us all it does, and all the harder for those favoured by the force.” Anakin feels his shock painted across his face. Is Master Yoda saying that he has felt the same chaos and temptation as Anakin. What if when Yoda was young he was the one everyone watched, waiting to see if he would be saviour or Sith. Yoda holds his gaze for a moment longer and then grunts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To have the holocron safely in the Archives, celebrate we should. Given time to recover the two of you will be.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he leaves Anakin falls back to sleep despite the whirling thoughts in his mind. Upon waking he finds Yoda has given orders for them both to be moved to Obi-Wan’s quarters. The healer says he will wake soon and besides they can do little to heal an exhausted spirit. Back in their quarters Anakin feels a little lost, it’s been a very long time since he didn’t have a mission to focus on. He sighs and settles in to meditate. He has a lot to process and in meditation he can feel his Master’s presence all around him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thinking on Master Yoda’s words he tries to relax into the roiling mass of the force he always seems to attract around him. Perhaps in time he can focus this into something closer to what he found in Obi-Wan’s mind. He sighs inwardly, that sounds like it will involve more meditation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If it takes me being unconscious for you to meditate, I am willing to make the sacrifice and get some more sleep.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Obi-Wan!” Anakin scrambles up and heads through the open door to his master’s bedroom. “How do you feel.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stiff. How long have I been out.” He has managed to push himself up a bit, propping himself up against the pillows.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Three days, but they say you’re okay. And you feel better to me.” He reaches out across the bond and feels Obi-Wan’s spirit is nearly at full strength, even if his body is clearly bone tired. Anakin catches a smile on his face at the contact, even though Obi-Wan has his eyes closed and head leant back against the wall. Then he feels his Master withdraw through the bond and the smile vanishes. He tilts his head down to meet Anakin’s eyes and his face is serious and sad.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, I owe you an apology. The way I acted under the influence of that thing,” he pauses for a second and Anakin can feel his shame and despair. “It was inexcusable. I hope it doesn’t destroy our friendship.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course not.” He desperately wants to reach out to Obi-Wan but everything about him is forbidding it. A little of the stiffness leaves his Master at Anakin’s denial.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m truly glad. You can rest assured I will never push you like that again.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wish you would,” Anakin says past the lump in his throat. He’d known that this was coming but it had been so hard not to hope. “You know I want you, apparently you’ve always know.” Obi-Wan lets out a frustrated noise, tension in every line of his body.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know there is a difference between fantasy and reality. Between occasionally thinking about someone you are around constantly in that way and acting on it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wasn’t really occasionally though was it,” Anakin can’t help but point out and Obi-Wan blushes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, listen to me. I want you, yes, more than anyone else I have ever known. But more than that...I love you. Like a brother, like a comrade and like a lover. When we’re like this,” he inhales deeply, closing his eyes and reaches across the bond between them. It reverberates with pain and grief from both sides, Anakin is swamped but the feeling of losing something he never truly had. That Obi-Wan is rejecting the very idea and existence of. “You feel like the other half of me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he looks up there are tears rolling down Obi-Wan’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, we can’t. For us to be together is forbidden. What you’re talking about is attachment.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And that leads to the dark side?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes!” Obi-Wan’s voice is anguished and intense.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No! I almost lost you Master. You nearly died in my arms because I wouldn’t have you any other way than you are. Full of light. I am attached to you, too much so to let you fall.” Obi-Wan coughed out a slightly damp laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I too much to leave your side. Even fallen.” Anakin looks up, shocked, to see Obi-Wan holding out a hand to him. He takes it and holds it to his mouth, eyes burning. “Anakin, come here.” Never one to ask twice, Anakin shucks his tunic and climbs onto the bed beside his Master, who rumbles a laugh. It is only when they are lying facing each other foreheads pressed together once more and the bond wide open that Anakin really feels complete. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ask me again.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” He draws back slightly confusion clear in his blue eyes eyes. Anakin’s heart soars to see them. “Oh. You mean?” His eyes dart down to Anakin’s lips and he swallows nervously as the moment stretches. “Kiss me?” Anakin lets out a whine and leans in, Obi-Wan meeting him halfway and it’s perfect. Light and tentative and full of hope. When they break apart Anakin laughs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know we almost have Council permission?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Obi-Wan jerks his head back to look at Anakin, his frown can’t seem to find purchase against the happiness flowing out of him. Anakin feels giddy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Criticise a bond that saved a Master from falling, we would not,” Anakin chuckles in a vague impression of Yoda.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really,” Obi-Wan sounds confused and unconvinced. Anakin takes advantage of his distraction to worm a leg between the Obi-Wan’s and run a hand up the back of his tunic to find skin and drag him closer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mhmmm. And if you agree, then that’s two members of the Council, which is as good as an engraved invitation.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I really don’t think...” Obi-Wan starts but Anakin cuts off his protests with another kiss.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine. But at some point we should really talk through everything that happened. Our bond, Dooku’s plan, my use of the force, what the holocron showed us...” He trails off and Anakin chuckles, he has no desire to pick apart the past or try and plan for the future right now. Not when he is finally at peace, happy and tangled up with Obi-Wan. But teasing him, he’s always happy to do that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. That last one definitely, in plenty of detail.” Obi-Wan gives an exasperated sigh and digs his fingers into Anakin’s side in warning. “Fine. It can wait.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin waits just long enough for Obi-Wan to relax again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But the Council chamber? Really?” Obi-Wan throws himself onto his back away from him and covers his face with his hands, groaning. Anakin shouts a laugh and then tries to restrain himself. He rolls on top of Obi-Wan and presses a kiss to his collar bone. “You know I’m never letting you forget that. Next time you ask me some awful question when I’m being chewed in front of everyone, I’m going to project that image into your head.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin!”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I will obsessively check for comments and kudos and get excited about every single one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>YOU GUYS! This was done. Finished. Complete. I was just too asleep when I posted the last chapter to remember how to show that. And then everyone said they we really looking forward to more. So everyone who said that, this is entirely your fault.</p><p>And since I had finished the PLOT, it’s just gratuitous sex. You have only yourselves to blame. </p><p>I love you all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan wakes up slowly and unexpectedly warm. He finds himself half sprawled across Anakin, who’s still soundly asleep, black metal fingers holding Obi-Wan’s arm on his chest with a light grip.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That spurs him a little further into wakefulness. Anakin rarely takes off the glove covering his metal hand in front of other people and Obi-Wan doesn’t remember him doing so last night. He must have fallen asleep on him. Extracting himself gently, he swings his legs over the side of the bed. He gets to his feet slowly, well aware he hasn’t stood on his own in several days. Still, he gets steadier quickly as he pads across the room to the to ‘fresher. He’s actually starting to feel better than he has in a while. Maybe because he can’t even remember the last time he and Anakin had managed to have a break from the war for this long, even if he has been unconscious for most of it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On his way back to bed, he catches sight of himself in the the ‘fresher mirror and realises he never did see himself with those yellow eyes. What had it looked like? The knowledge that they had changed, such indisputable evidence of his surrender to the dark, still sits against his mind like pieces of broken glass. Intrusive and wrong. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He cringes every time he thought of his actions under the influence of the holocron. His talk with Anakin last night has only been the very beginning of fixing everything. Judging by Anakin’s lightning forgiveness, Obi-Wan’s view of himself will probably the hardest thing to rebuild. Taking a deep breath to balance himself, he forces his mind back to when he was under the sway of that power.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything had seemed so simple. Whatever he wanted he had gone after, immediately and regardless of the cost. And mostly it seemed what he wanted was Anakin. The things he had said to him! Without the power clouding his mind they had been so cruel. How Anakin could still bear to be around him he had no idea. The memory of Anakin’s anguished and humiliated face was going to haunt him for years to come.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But other memories, force help him. The humiliation he feels thinking about the things he did is countered by the sheer lust at the way Anakin had reacted. Anakin, argumentative, frustrating, obstructive Anakin; melted to be held against a wall and choked. He wanted to do it again. Even without the influence of the dark side he wanted to see Anakin’s eyes go hazy with lust and feel him strain against Obi-Wan just to bask in the feeling of being held down. What did that say about him? That he wanted to do these things? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks down and sees his knuckles have gone white where they grip the basin. How will they argue now? He wonders, slightly hysterical. This desire between them that they’ve been forced to acknowledge is like a wildfire in the blood. Cody and Rex might actually throw them out of a air lock. He draws in a breath and tries to balance his spirit, letting go of some of the raging emotion.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He is so lucky to be alive to worry about these things. He’s always known Anakin was unusually strong but the power he’d shown was amazing. Not even reaching the end of his strength when Obi-Wan had been at death’s door. He remembers the long wait for help and finally passing out, all the time wrapped in a blanket of Anakin’s never ending power. Half the reason he’d been able to keep control for so long was that the power in the holocron had been entranced by that ocean all around it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finds himself reaching out to Anakin in his mind. When their training bond had still existed, it had been like a fine spindly bridge. Now reaching out is like stepping from one room to another, separate but not distant. On the other side of the bond all he feels is banked warmth emanating from the man, who is still very firmly asleep and the force with him</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan had drawn on all that power to stay alive, stay strong. And he’s pretty sure he could do it again. He can’t wait to see how they can use that in battle. Bonded like this they might be unstoppable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He opens the ‘fresher door and looks out at Anakin, already half knowing what he will see. The man has rolled over into the patch of warmth left by Obi-Wan. He’s removed his undertunic and Obi-Wan is struck by a rather vivid memory of undressing Anakin back on that shuttle. He’d been embarrassingly focused on peeling off all those layers. Jedi aren’t raised to be proud or body conscious and while Anakin fails terribly at not being proud of his skills as a pilot and warrior he has no appreciation for how gorgeous he is. Obi-Wan finds himself rather possessive and smug to see all of that beauty sprawled in his bed. He adds that possessiveness to the long list of things he should probably regret and should definitely meditate on later.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But not right now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He paces back over to the bed and slips in, running a hand down Anakin’s smooth back and pressing a kiss to his shoulder, just because he can. Anakin sighs and presses himself back into Obi-Wan, managing to keep his face buried in the pillow.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good morning.” For a second there is no reply and then only an irritated grunt.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tone was incredibly final and it takes a moment until any more words emerge, when they do the cadence is off, like they are being dredged up from the bottom of a well. It’s remarkable how little Anakin has deigned to wake up, Obi-Wan can feel his presence in the force, still only just on this side of dreams. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you dearly but it is not time to be awake.” A jolt of adrenaline and joy shoots through Obi-Wan to hear those words again and he buries his smile in Anakin’s shoulder, only to get another irritated grunt. He can’t say it back yet but he sends his emotions through the force. Anakin relaxes and purrs out a noise. Then his presence in the force twitches again, his consciousness tugging the force around them as if it is a favourite blanket he’s pulling over his head and he slips back into sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan can’t help grinning at him. Anakin’s never exactly been a fan of mornings. Normally Obi-Wan would leave him to it, if they didn’t have anywhere to be and go and take the chance to meditate in peace. But today he doesn’t want to. Pressed against Anakin’s warmth and dozing mind he feels like maybe he can sleep again too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin wakes up repeatedly that morning, revels in the sensation of feeling Obi-Wan wrapped around him and goes back to sleep again. The thing that finally brings him fully awake is feeling Obi-Wan’s finger running lightly over his side and hip. He lets out a pleased sound.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good morning.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Barely,” Obi-Wan sounds amused but Anakin is just impressed he hasn’t gotten out of bed hours ago for meditation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, when was the last time we had a chance to sleep as long as we wanted.” He stretches and luxuriates in the feel of his body moving against Obi-Wan. Even better is the hiss of breath Obi-Wan lets out and the way his hand clamps down on Anakin’s hip. He feels something twitch against his ass and represses a smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin,” he enjoys the slight edge in his masters voice. “We should get out of bed, it’s nearly midday.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Should we?” He rolls his hips again and this time he can feel the long line of Obi-Wan’s cock rapidly hardening against him and his breath catches.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not really feeling your sincerity, Master.” Obi-Wan huffs in irritation but sounds a little too distracted to really work up any annoyance.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“At some point we’re going to have a long conversation about when it’s appropriate to call me Master.” Anakin grins.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Master.” Before Obi-Wan can gear up for a proper lecture he shifts up so he can catch the tip of Obi-Wan’s cock against him and grind down with more intention. The hand on his waist tightens and Obi-Wan’s hips jerk forward.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now are you sure you want to get up?” He reaches behind him and wraps a hand around the other man’s cock, leaving the tip pressed against his ass and runs his hand up and down the length.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” Obi-Wan grits out and his hand trails up Anakin’s inner thigh. “Anakin, are you sure about this?” He pushes himself up on one elbow so he can see Anakin’s face and his expression is searching. The auburn hair and beard are ruffled in a way it is rare to see and those gorgeous blue eyes are fixed on him with such intensity.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin leans up and kisses him, he thinks of all the ways he could say exactly how sure he is but settles on a simple “yes” and opens his mind to Obi-Wan, pushing his sincerity across. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan’s eyes flutter half shut for a moment and he groans wrapping his rough handfirmly around Anakin’s dick, making him push forward with a whine. Oh gods, this was actually happening, he couldn’t imagine how good it was going to feel. Obi-Wan’s hand on his dick, while he fucked into him from behind. Just the thought makes him desperate.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you have any slick?” There’s a laugh from behind him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Force, somewhere. Probably.” Obi-Wan tears himself away and drags out a bottle from a drawer under the bed. Lost in a haze of lust Anakin watches him. He’s still wearing a kriffing undertunic. How can he be so damned attractive and so modest at the same time. It has always puzzled him about his master. The flirting, the knowing smile and then the way he lives his life. It doesn’t quite match up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is it even still usable?” Obi-Wan sends him a mock glare and runs his fingers under Anakin’s waist band.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take these off.” Fuck, that voice does things to him. He scrambles out of the pants with more speed than grace. Obi Wan makes a pleased noise and looks him slowly up and down as he lies naked underneath him, then leans forward to kiss him. Impatient as Anakin is, the joy of kissing obi-Wan is still new enough that he only moans and drags him closer. He runs his hands up under the damn undertunic and yanks at it until Obi-Wan chuckles and draws back to tug it off. Anakin yanks him down again and thrills to feel skin against skin for the first time. The position leaves them separated only by the flimsy fabric of the pants Obi-Wan slept in and Anakin groans to feel him so close and rolls his hips up desperately.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan surrends for a while and they fall into the simple enjoyment of feeling each other like this. Anakin tries to fix each moment and sensation in his memory, how long has he wanted to know what this would be like? He truly never thought it would happen. If the holocron hadn’t nearly killed Obi-Wan, he’d be considering sending Dooku a fruit basket. Eventually Obi-Wan laughs and slips to the side so he can wrap a hand around Anakin’s dick and run a thumb slowly back and forth over the tip.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tease,” Anakin pants out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well if you want me to stop teasing...” he pushes gently at Anakin’s hip and he rolls willingly onto his side. Obi-Wan makes a pleased noise and wraps an around his chest dragging him closer and kissing a line down his neck. He feels a hand run up the back of his thighs slowly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Touch yourself.” Anakin feels a shiver of lust run through him and palms his dick even as he hears the click of the bottle behind him and feels wet fingers between his cheeks. Oh force, that feels good. His hand on his cock and the familiar presence of Obi-Wan against his body and pressing in this mind washes anyway any nervousness. There is only the pleasure of gentle fingers running over and then inside him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just like that. Force you’re so tight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Obi-Wan brushes against that spot inside him, Anakin lets out a whimper and presses back sharply, free metal hand grasping at the sheets. Stars, that has him so close already. He lets out a moan at another sharp stab of pleasure and his hand fists tighter around his cock. Obi-Wan senses the desperation in his mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hands off, Anakin.” With a whine he releases his dick and flattens both hands to the sheets. Any more orders coming from that voice, low and rough like that might kill him. It was actually worse than the sensations. He feels a laugh in his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have a problem with my voice, do you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I think you do,” Obi-Wan’s fingers are scissoring now, working him open. “I think if I spoke to you like this on a hologram I could have you squirming in seconds, even light years away.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin can imagine that all too clearly, can hear Obi-Wan listing the things he will do to him if he doesn’t obey orders this time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s enough, please, Obi-Wan,” he babbles. “I need you inside me.” He feels a rush in the force but on the outside his master remains calm.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you sure?” He twists his fingers again, brushing over Anakin’s prostate. “You want me to stop doing this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. Yes!” Force, he was so close to coming. “Please, stop.” The fingers slip out of him and he pants breathlessly into the pillow. Obi-Wan presses a kiss to his shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, it’s just a lot.” He feels a reassuring touch on his mind. When he catches his breath he reaches behind him and slips a hand inside Obi-Wan’s pants. He lets out a hiss and Anakin feels his cock and abs jump at the touch. Pushing the fabric down, he feels Obi-Wan add more slick. The feel of finally getting his hands on him is almost so good he just keeps going. But he wants him inside him more.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lines Obi-Wan up against him and pushes back onto him slowly. It feels very different to just fingers. He expects his master to take over again but he doesn’t. Anakin can feel his desperation to roll Anakin over and push into him fast and hard but he doesn’t. He lets Anakin grind back against him, squirming and panting as he takes more and more. Eventually, he bottoms out and feels his back press firm against Obi-Wan’s chest, the man’s fingers are gripping his hip so tightly he’s sure it will bruise.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, fuck.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master, please. I need you to move.” Obi-Wan gingerly rolls his hips and Anakin lets out a whine. “Yes, please, like that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Force, he feels so big, Anakin’s mind feels like it’s is in pieces, every bit crying out for something, more, faster. They find a rhythm, Anakin pushing back and Obi-Wan thrusting forwards and it’s perfect. Obi-Wan’s hand moves over his chest, flicking at his nipples just to hear him moan and doing everything but touching his dick. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It doesn’t matter. Anakin has been ready to tip over the edge since Obi-Wan’s fingers first pushed inside. He comes untouched with a sound that’s almost a sob and slumps down, panting.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels a surge of lust run through Obi-Wan in the force and his control weaken. He pushes Anakin onto his front and follows his body over so that he’s lying on top of him. He nudges Anakin’s leg as part with his own and settles between them. The position gives him perfect access and there’s little a limp, exhausted Anakin can do about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels Obi-Wan lean down and kiss his neck, then interlace the fingers of their right hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.” Anakin’s voice is slightly dreamy, still riding a wave of pleasure. Obi-Wan lets out a groan and thrusts into him again, making him cry out. This time there is no finesse, he isn’t aiming for Anakin’s pleasure, just his own. But at the feeling of him letting loose Anakin almost feels like he could come again. On each thrust he pulls out almost too far and thrusts back in hard grinding into Anakin. It’s almost no time at all before he pushes in more deeply than ever and cries out. Anakin feels a wave of light wash over his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Through half closed eyes he sees their hands, fingers laced together and gripping on to one another tightly, all the knuckles white. Obi-Wan slumps against him and then to the side panting. Anakin brings their hands to his mouth and kisses the knuckles.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In their minds, it feels like the calm after a storm, or the Tattooine desert after the rains that Anakin had only seen once in his whole childhood. This moment feels equally precious. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, as he comes back to himself he starts to register everything else.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kriff, I’m glad this is your bed. What a mess.” Obi-Wan makes noise of pure exasperation. “I think I should clean up.” He starts to rise but Obi-Wan pulls him back down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not yet,” he murmurs and kisses Anakin gently, who melts little inside.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By the time they drag themselves out of bed and Obi-Wan gets out of the ‘fresher Anakin is making tea. He feels Obi-Wan’s arms snake around him and a kiss brush over the nape of his neck. A smile crosses his face but he can feel a trembling in their bond that worries him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” Obi-Wan says quietly and he sucks in a breath in surprise. “I may not always be able to say it but it’s true.” To be honest, he’s surprised Obi-Wan managed to say it even once, it goes against everything they have been taught and while Anakin has always been willing to be flexible, his master is different. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know. It means the world to me that you did.” He let’s his joy spill over into their bond and turns, wrapping his arms around his master and dragging him into a kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I can’t seem to stop writing this one. It’s firmly a WIP from now on. I’ve got a few chapters written but after that it’ll just be inspiration versus procrastination battling it out.</p><p>Just a short chapter for now but the next one will be longer.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Obi-Wan returns to their quarters that night, he finds Anakin is stretched out on the floor with his back against a couch fitting the covering back on to a mouse droid. Obi-Wan isn’t surprised. He’s pretty sure the little droids have learned that they’ll get their glitches fixed faster coming to Anakin than the repair centre. He’s also been turning a blind eye to Anakin’s little ‘upgrades’. The man has never seemed to adopt quite the same attitude to droids as everyone else. Once something has even a limited AI he sees it as a sentient creature and will do what he can to help it develop. When hears Obi-Wan come in he looks up through his lashes and shoots him a grin that makes his heart skip a beat. Anakin places the droid back on the floor and gives it an affectionate tap on its casing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make sure you upload that patch when you plug in tonight. It should stop that glitch happening to the others.” The mouse droid whistles happily and speeds out past Obi-Wan’s feet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just tell me they’re not going to stage a coup.” Anakin grins and gets to his feet gracefully.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well that’s up to them, Master.” He pushes into Obi-Wan’s space and dips his head for a kiss. Obi-Wan’s not sure he’s ever going to get used to this. Part of him still freezes up and shouts that he shouldn’t be doing this, it’s his padawan, it’s attachment. A much larger part of him just wants to spin Anakin round, push him against the wall and deepen the kiss. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin must sense the impulse because he groans and grips the front of Obi-Wan’s robes. Amusement bubbles up inside him and he laughs against Anakin’s mouth. He pulls back and cups the taller man’s face in his palms, rubbing a thumb across the scar below his eye. Anakin just looks down at him, softly questioning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Slow down.” Anakin smiles slowly and sways towards him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re going on a trip. With Master Yoda.” Anakin’s eyes widen and he looks so betrayed Obi-Wan has to laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, you have to get over your feelings about Yoda. He’s part of our lineage. He’s not out to get you, he wants to help.” Anakin’s face clouds and he turns away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t need help.” Obi-Wan sighs, this is a very familiar conversation but not one he has bothered pushing in a while.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, you do. Anakin, you know I’m fairly neutral about the whole prophecy idea. It was Qui-Gon who really believed that. But your power is indisputable,” he sees Anakin’s shoulders twitch at his words. He still doesn’t understand why Anakin has been holding back for so long. Had Obi-Wan done something to make him think he needed to? “You’ve learned to hide it well and I used to forget. But it’s different now.” He reaches out with his mind and feels tension and discomfort on the other side of the bond. Anakin clearly doesn’t want him in his mind right now but is resisting the urge to pull away. It reminds Obi-Wan unpleasantly of how their relationship was in the months before they severed the training bond. “I can feel you, and I’ve seen what you’re capable of.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Capable of harm.” There’s a memory attached to that statement and this time Anakin does push Obi-Wan’s presence in his mind sharply away. He winces at the brief flare of pain at his temples. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.” He brings his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose and Anakin looks around in concern. Obi-Wan takes the opportunity to meet his gaze. “Of destruction. Or creation. But more importantly, all that power makes you vulnerable.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That doesn’t even make sense...” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, he doesn’t understand why Anakin has never got this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a target for the Sith.” Anakin growls out a frustrated noise.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, alright!” He half shouts the words and his hands clench, through their bond Obi-Wan sees a flash of the Council chamber, Yoda and Mace looking stern.<em> I sense much fear in you</em>. “Clearly, Dooku thinks I only need the slightest push to fall.” Obi-Wan rather doubts it’s Dooku’s opinion Anakin cares about. “The business with the holocron proved that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There is such a tired familiarity to conversations like this, they always seem to be talking at cross purposes. Obi-Wan feels despair rising in him and wonders if the new peace and understanding between them will be over before it even has a chance to start. He couldn’t bear that. He takes a deep breath and thinks for a moment before trying a different approach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then what about this, now we are together, it’s not but you but me that is the sensible target.” Anakin’s head jerks up to look at him frowning. “If I was trying to control you I’d go after someone you cared about...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You think they’d try and kill you?” He seems a little incredulous and Obi-Wan can understand, it’s not like Dooku and the Separatists aren’t constantly trying to kill all the Jedi anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Capture and hold, I would think.” Anakin’s expression darkens as he considers the possibility and the force simmers around them. As always his anger is unsettling but at least he’s listening now. Obi-Wan tries to press the advantage. “This is the attachment you hate to think about so much. It is a vulnerability to fear my death or suffering. You can afford it even less than others because there are very powerful beings out there that will seek out your attachments and cause that suffering, just to have control of you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin turns away and strides over to the window. Obi-Wan reaches out in his mind and finds Anakin buzzing with energy, he’s keeping his power close to himself but it is rocketing around inside his shields. Fear and claustrophobia are clawing their way up his throat. Obi-Wan feels his own eyes start to burn.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, Anakin.” He strides over and wraps his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry to drop all this on you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>It’s not fair. I never asked for this power.</em> His voice comes quietly through the bond, and Obi-Wan hears another whisper, a thought Anakin hadn’t meant to voice:<em> I just wanted to see the stars. </em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly, Anakin’s stiff shoulders relax and he leans back into the contact. They stand there for a long while, watching the sun go down over Coruscant. Slowly, Anakin opens his mind back up and brushes against Obi-Wan’s in apology and acceptance. Eventually, the evening bell rings and obi-Wan untangles himself body and mind, if they want to eat before Anakin has to leave they had better get on with it. He presses a parting kiss into Anakin’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Talk to Master Yoda. Let us help.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin gives him a small smile and sighs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine. Anything for you, Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I read all your comments and get ridiculously excited about them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin walks slowly through the Temple halls feeling wrung out and tired. Over the years he’s got pretty good at ignoring everything except the problem in front of him. With his lightsaber in hand or at the controls of a ship he always knows what to do. And he loves it. There’s no time for introspection or to wonder about the consequences of his actions. Strategy and shades of grey have always been for masters like Yoda or Obi-Wan to worry about. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s aware it makes him a bit of blunt instrument. But in his heart he knows he can’t really be trusted. He’s going to fall, everyone expects it: the Council, the Sith. He might be the one thing they agree on and they can’t all be wrong. Only Obi-Wan had been willing to train him all those years ago. He’s the only one who has put up with all Anakin’s shit throughout the years, who still looks at him and sees more than an experiment that’s destined to fail. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can’t deny the logic behind Obi-Wan’s words. If the Sith are trying to pull him to the dark side, and they definitely are, the obvious way in is through his master. It explains why Dooku and Ventress didn’t try harder to correct the mistake with the holocron. That was before they even became lovers, if word gets out now it will only get worse. While his fall has always seemed like an inevitability, he’ll be damned if he allows Obi-Wan to become a casualty of it. He flashes back to his master’s face unconscious in the med bay and feels emotions swirl within him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, if staying in the light is the only way to keep him safe, keep him alive, he’s just going to have to prove everyone wrong. He feels determination settle inside him, a new goal coalescing. He will <em>not</em> fall. He will do everything in his power to keep the balance inside him, however many miserable nights spent with Master Yoda that might takes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mind immediately offers the alternative of hunting down every Sith and carving them up into little pieces and he sighs aloud. This isn’t going to be easy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he arrives in the hangar, he sees Master Yoda standing next to an unusual and rather tiny ship that he’s never seen before.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Skywalker, ready for a lesson, you are?” Anakin fights down the part of himself that rebels at being made to feel like a youngling again. Surely he should be done with that by now? He’s a knight and a general, shouldn’t he be accorded that much respect? He takes a deep breath and does his best to counter the reaction.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master Yoda, perhaps you could call me Anakin? Since I am to be your student again.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmmm. Once no longer padawans we are, all each other’s students are we not?” Anakin doubts he has anything to teach the Grandmaster but he’ll take the sop to his pride.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where are we going? Who’s ship is this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mine.” Yoda chirps cheerfully and begins to hobble inside. “Tight fit for you, it may be.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, no kidding.” Anakin has to bend almost double to get through the ramp and there’s definitely not enough space for him to stand upright inside. He settles to the floor as Yoda climbs into the pilot seat. It’s unsettling to lift off in a ship he wouldn’t be able to pilot himself but Yoda shows no trouble taking the ship up over the city planet. Setting it to hover, the Grandmaster hauls himself out of the pilot’s chair and comes back to sit in front of Anakin. In this tiny ship with its matching owner, he feels uncomfortably like a trespassing giant.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Time for us to meditate, it is.” There’s a twinkle in the elder’s eye that tells him Yoda knows exactly how much he is hating all of this. It makes him like Yoda a little more.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really,” he says, raising his eyebrow. “Okay, if you say so, Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thankfully, it isn’t difficult to slip into meditation with Yoda around. He’s like a black hole with serenity at the bottom, it’s partly why he always teaches the youngest arrivals the basics. A shiver of irritation runs through Anakin to think he needs the same treatment but he pushes it away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda lets them settle there in peace for long enough that Anakin stops worrying about who he’s learning from and where they are and begins to lose track of time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Your awareness, expand.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dreamily, Anakin follows his command. Away from the ground, as they are, there is nothing but empty sky and as he pushes his mind further, the trails of ships, passing from tower to tower or leaving the planet. His breath stutters as a cruiser lifts off nearby and accelerates out to the edge of the atmosphere. He feels all the life forms on board like little nexuses in the force. He’s done this sort of meditation exercise before but it takes concentration to push awareness so far beyond the limits of his body. Yoda must be bolstering his focus.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, feel them you do. Inside all of us, the force lives.” Another ship passes them on its way down to the Temple and Anakin notices one energy signature brighter than the others. Yoda follows his thoughts and make a pleased sound. “Master Mundi has returned. To have him back, glad we will be.” Concentrating like this Anakin can see, not only how much brighter Ki Adi shines, but that he is connected to the others around him. The force surges around him and in his wake. Other force signatures nearby flare, like bulbs coming to life as they drift into range of a power supply. Around him are what must be clones, similar, yet different and strongly resonating with Ki Adi in the force.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Expand.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin obeys unthinking and his mind finds the life in the tops of Coruscant’s nearby towers.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Expand.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pushes further and his awareness billows out again. Lives light up his senses in ever increasing numbers. Thousands upon thousands.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Expand.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lets go completely and his barriers rush away from him, down to the surface and out across the planet. He realises how far he has gone and starts to breathe faster. It’s too much, too many people.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Breathe,” Yoda says firmly. “Their presence, let it wash over you, you must.” He inhales again shaky and slow. “Good. Observe only, nothing more.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin takes a few more slow breathes, letting himself acclimatise to seeing the planet like this. It’s one thing to know how many people live on Coruscant but quite another to feel them. A sea of life shines below him, all of it connected by the force. It’s staggering.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do you feel?” Anakin struggles for a moment, maintaining the awareness and talking, let alone analysing his reactions as well, is difficult. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Awed, scared?” His heart jerks to admit fear in front of the Master. “Maybe? I can’t tell, it’s overwhelming.” Yoda grunts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Overwhelming, chaotic,” the words hang in the air for a moment. “Many say such things of Coruscant. Look at this chaos and try to control it, a Sith Lord would. Their compulsion it is. The more power they have, the more they feel they must control. Never can they succeed and so, eventually, they fall.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin can see the temptation. Seeing the city planet, being confronted by its size and power is like being a tiny invertebrate, clinging to a pebble, being shown the whole coastline, breakers rolling and crashing on the beach, without cease. How could you expect to survive? Would it not make sense to try and claw some order from the chaos? To try and build a space that was safe for yourself and the ones you loved? Was that not what everyone did? Built their homes, their temple, their senate and locked the doors at night?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wisdom it is to know that is impossible. Will be, what will be, and as the force wills. If the best you wish for all these lives, then try and guide them you can. The course of the future, a Jedi might steer. But know, in the end, how little power you truly have.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin rebels at the thought. This is Grandmaster Yoda, of course he could control events if he wished. But looking at the planet below them he can’t escape the fact that while he and Yoda might burn brighter than most, they represent a tiny flicker of power compared to the whole. Even together they would be overshadowed by just one tower block of life on Coruscant.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Begin to understand you do. A pebble rather than a grain of sand you might be, but your life is nothing compared to the whole. Look up. Just one planet this is.” Anakin threw his awareness up and felt everything in orbit above them. Massive ships waiting to dock, or for their smaller shuttles to return. They were full of yet more life, and beyond them. The vast, almost incalculable, vacuum. He couldn’t sense beyond it but the force whispered of more life, more stars, more planets. Endless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Runs through all things the force does.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All living things.” It’s not quite a question but Yoda seems to be contradicting the most basic teachings.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“In living things most obvious it is. But how do we define life? Eludes us the definition does. An affinity for the less alive, you have. Droids, space. The Cosmic as well as the Living Force. Do you not feel the life out here?” Anakin doesn’t respond immediately, searching his senses instead.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It feels like the desert. I know there’s life in the desert but the whole thing always felt alive to me. The same way planets do, some of them, the new ones that are still cooling, active. I’ve felt the force strongly there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda grunts in satisfaction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Visit them with you I would wish, were we not at war.” Anakin feels surprise run through him, both at the thought Yoda would choose to do that with him and that he is pretty sure he’d enjoy it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But now...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels a clawed hand on his shoulder and Yoda draws his attention back down, guiding it swift and sure to their Temple. Here the sparks burn brighter, like tiny suns, and a group meditation session forms a blazing supernova that seems to welcome them as they drift past. Yoda brings them to a halt and Anakin realises with a start they are looking at Obi-Wan. His heart warms to see the cool blue blaze.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Know how you feel about this spark, do I. To you, brighter than the others it burns. Wise you both are to worry what that means. For you and for us all. Tempting, will it be, to try and control when it is snuffed out. Prevent that happening for as long as possible.” Anakin feels fear rise in him. He had joked with Obi-Wan about having permission for their relationship but he hadn’t really believed Yoda would approve of the extent of their attachment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fear, Anakin.” The hand closes firm on his shoulder and Yoda’s tone is reproving. “Hope, I feel in your bond. Wrong, to love, is not.” He unfurls his own mind to Anakin and he feels the Grandmaster’s love for Obi-Wan, his pride in how he has grown, and behind that his love for the whole Temple, for every brick and hall he has walked for hundreds of years. It is staggering in its depth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It is not that you love but how, which will decide your fate.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The words are still ringing in his ears an hour later when he enters their quarters. He heads towards his old room already removing his robes and tosses them on the bed. He pulls on a pair of loose pants and wanders to the main window in the common area that span from floor to ceiling. The lights of Coruscant illuminate the otherwise dark room with a neon glow. Anakin’s never had any strong feelings about Coruscant, never really thought of it as home either. He’s always just been glad it wasn’t Tattooine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The lesson with Yoda has left him feeling unbalanced. It’s been a long time since he really studied the force and took the time to push his understanding of it. He’d thought he’d known all there was to know. No, that wasn’t right. He’d thought he knew all that he needed to know. That the rest was just esoteric nonsense, of interest only to scholars. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Anakin?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Concern echoes through the bond and he smiles slightly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">I’m here.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wants to go and join Obi-Wan but the lights of the city and lingering discontent from the lesson seem to root him in place.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you want to talk about it?” Obi-Wan’s voice is rough with sleep but still gentle. Anakin listens to him cross the room and feels fingers skate down his lower back and tuck into the band of his pants. A beard roughened kiss is brushed against his shoulder. He imagines discussing the lesson with Obi-Wan, the man would be thrilled, it’s just his kind of thing. But he’s not ready, the thoughts it sparked are still lying jagged in his mind and if he shares them with Obi-Wan his opinions will get snarled up in there as well.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. Not tonight. I think I’ve done enough thinking.” Obi Wan chuckles. “I’d rather stop for a while.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan pulls him closer, he’s warm against Anakin’s slightly chilled bare skin.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think that could be arranged.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What did you have in mind?” He doesn’t really need to ask and can already feel a smile slipping onto his lips. He can sense Obi-Wan’s intentions in the force, they curl warm and dark and promising through their bond. He feels a hand drift over his chest as Obi-Wan’s lips brush acros the nape of his neck. His beard prickles across skin, barely there in way that leaves him frozen between wanting to remain perfectly still or arch up into it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I have watched your mind go completely blank a few times before.” Anakin’s mind flashes back to the shuttle and Obi-Wan’s golden eyes burning into him. Maybe it’s a damning inditement of Anakin’s character but he’s glad Obi-Wan hasn’t lost or hidden away all the sharp edges that dark power revealed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan’s presence eases into his mind and he’s shown his hands, one flesh and one metal from a new angle, grasping white sheets that morning. Was it only that morning? He hears the gasping moans he had made as he came and tries not to let out an immediate action replay. Then an image is projected of his face, eyes glazing over with lust as Obi-Wan’s hand on his neck presses him back against a shuttle wall. Is that really what he looked like? Wrecked and pliant? He remembers the feeling of the force pressing his throat closed as Obi-Wan drank in his reaction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A rush of heat runs through him and his cock twitches against the thin fabric of his pants. He almost curses at how transparent he is. Obi-Wan chuckles behind him and runs short nails down his chest over one nipple. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I believe we have a winner. Is that what you want me to do?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Y-yes.” He looks out over the lights of the city and feels very exposed, almost like he’s being put on show but Obi-Wan’s mind is wrapping around his own, hot with desire and his body is warm at Anakin’s back. Logically, he knows no one can see into these windows but part of him can’t register that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Say it.” Obi-Wan’s hand comes down to hips and his fingertips grip Anakin’s hip bones, digging into flesh and pulling him back firmly. He gasps, mind already starting to go fuzzy at the feel of Obi-Wan rapidly hardening cock against his ass.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin...” Obi-Wan’s voice is expectant and warm but steely underneath. “That’s not something I’m going to do unless you ask properly.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please...” He almost can’t bear to say it but he wants it desperately. “I want you to choke me.” Satisfaction curls through their bond. He feels a swift motion in the force as Obi-Wan summons something to him and makes a mental note to tease him about inappropriate use of the force later. Right now he just wants too get his hands on Obi-Wan. He reaches behind him but the position is awkward and he can’t really do anything but grip at a hip and encourage Obi-Wan to grind in harder against him. He feels a smile against his skin and soft laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Patience.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels fabric slide around his neck and force that’s one of Obi-Wan’s sashes. At this rate he’ll never be able to look at his master in public ever again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels a curl of amusement and resignation but beneath it a dark possessive instinct Obi-Wan will probably never admit to, which tells him he doesn’t really mind the honorific. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels Obi-Wan wrap the sash around his hand and clench his fist to draw it tight against Anakin’s throat. He pulls back and Anakin follows arching his back. The pressure isn’t enough to cut off his air but he feels the blood pumping against the tight cloth and feels his face start to flush.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He registers Obi-Wan’s right hand unlacing his pants and ghosting over his hard cock. Together sensations are overwhelmingly intense and that’s without the feeling of a Obi-Wan twitching against his ass as Anakin moans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He loses himself in the sensations, the increasing speed of Obi-Wan’s fist on his cock and the slow rhythm of tightening and release around his neck. The arch in his back is uncomfortable and a Obi-Wan makes sure to draw everything out, slowing and speeding up again, pulling back on his neck but not giving Anakin’s enough friction from his hand, letting him push his hips forward uselessly. His thighs are burning and he’s whimpering with frustration. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master, please!” The sash tightens around his neck cutting the sound off briefly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I need more.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm, I suppose I could make this easier on you.” The pace of his fist stays agonisingly slow. “I could push you forward, let you brace yourself against the window. Finally let you come.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, you could!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” his voice is thoughtful and calm, at odds with how he burns in the force. “I don’t think I will.” He lets go of Anakin entirely and steps away, leaving him gasping and bereft. Shock and the first stirrings anger rise in him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get on your knees.” The shock is replaced a wave of lust so strong he almost worries it will reach outside their rooms. He feels a flicker of amusement as Obi-Wan picks the thought from his head. He turns slowly, stepping out of his pants. Obi-Wan looks wrecked in the low neon light, his auburn hair is still mussed from sleep and yanking off his shirt, and his eyes are dark. His cock stands out clearly and the front of his pants are damp where he’s been grinding against Anakin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wants to get his mouth on him so badly it hurts. He drops to his knees and drags the waist band of the thin sleep pants down, flicking his tongue over the head of Obi-Wan’s cock as soon as it appears. He hears a groan from above him and a thrill runs through him. He’s never done this before. Never got around to it with any other lover, not that he’s had many. But he’s dying to taste every inch, so he doubts he can go far wrong. As he swallows him down he feels a hand coming up to tighten in his hair as Obi-Wan gasps. It lets go immediately and Anakin pulls back to look up at his master. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t stop on my account.” The grin on his lips is filthy and Obi-Wan’s gaze sharpens intently. He bends back again, swirling his tongue around the tip before finding a rhythm he can maintain. It’s a rush to work out the ways to wring gasps out of Obi-Wan and now Anankin’s given permission he feels fingers tighten in his hair whenever he finds a new angle. It still leaves him just enough of his brain to plan and he crooks the fingers of his mechno hand to summon the slick from Obi-Wan’s room. Fumbling with one hand to get some out, he lets the tip of Obi-Wan’s cock rub against the back of his throat. He holds it too long and gags, feeling his mouth flood with saliva. From the groan above him that’s something he should do again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spreads his knees wider and reaches behind himself to press the tip of a cool metal finger into himself. Even with his enhanced capacity to heal, he’s still sensitive from that morning. He adds another digit and can’t suppress a moan. It vibrates in his throat and Obi-Wan pushes forward against him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, what?” He lips do their best to curve into a grin and pulls his mouth away to look up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?” He makes no move to hide what he’s doing and his lids even fall half shut as he finds the right spot and grinds down on his fingers.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Force.” Obi-Wan stares down at him for a second and he feels the man’s force presence press against him in a hot rush as he watches. Then, sudden and sure, he catches the base of Anakin’s skull in his hand and pulls him forward again. This time he doesn’t hold back, gently fucking into his mouth again and again, letting him gag occasionally to feel him hitting the back of his throat. Anakin’s mind goes as blissful as it was when he was being choked and he moans as he scissors his fingers wider and feels his eyes burn and tears start to leak from his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A growl echoes from Obi-Wan and he’s dragged up in a rush and pushed towards the transparisteel of the window. He catches himself on his hands and feels confusion for only a moment before Obi-Wan is pushing into him and coming in only a few thrusts. He feels the echoes of the orgasm in the force and gasps out his master’s name. Still buried inside him Obi-Wan reaches around and a jerk of his hand is enough to push him over the edge. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pants through the aftershocks, his mind blissful and blank, close to what he feels after meditation. The lights of Coruscant come slowly back into focus before him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every time he’s looked at them tonight they’ve felt different. Earlier he’d felt unmoored. Unsure. Now he couldn’t be more grounded. Power had built around the two of them and through them as they came together, use of the bond strengthening it further. In the wake of that everything is peaceful. This feels like the flip side of what Yoda had shown him earlier, the wide view and the narrow.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They draw apart gingerly and slide to the floor. Anakin drapes himself over Obi-Wan and smiles down at him before leaning in for a slow kiss. He feels obi-Wan brushing against him in the force worriedly and pushes contentment back at him and he settles, smiling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Does Coruscant feel like home to you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan looks surprised and turns to glance out of the window. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I suppose so,” he pauses. “Except these days I often feel like my place is with my men.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“On the Negotiator,” Anakin adds with a smile. He know Obi-Wan hates that name.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes,” he says with an amused look that can’t quite become a glare. “But really the Temple is home.” He can feel Obi-Wan’s love for the place, it’s so much stronger than his has ever been. It seems Anakin is destined to be a nomad. Although he supposes at the moment he feels a similar connection the vode and the Resolute. Not the ship itself, though she is lovely enough in her own way, but he belongs to the vode. They are his men, his first command. In some way he owes them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll be back with them tomorrow,” Obi-Wan say, sensing his train of thought. Unsaid is that they will be back at war, separate for an unknown amount of time. It’s not something Anakin wants to dwell on and to be honest he’s not particularly worried. They’re hard to kill. But he will miss this. He rests his chin on top of his hands where they fold over Obi-Wan’s chest and grins down at him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think we made good use of your recovery time.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Back on the Twilight, Anakin leans back in his seat and smiles at the shiny beside him.</p><p>“See, nothing to it.”</p><p>“Yes, sir.” The trooper still sounds shaky and Anakin wonders if it was unfair to have nominated him to co-pilot. But it isn’t as if he really needs much from a second pair of hands. The Twilight is just poorly designed for flying alone. </p><p>Before going to sleep last night, he’d put out a call for anyone looking to rejoin the 501st and found six men needing to travel. It left them a little cramped but it wasn’t much more than a day in hyperspace before they could rendezvous with the Resolute. He pulls himself smoothly out of his seat and stretches, he’s still a little sensitive ways he’s not used to and the thought makes him smirk. </p><p>Plus, while Obi-Wan had left early for the Negotiator, Yoda had sent Anakin to the infirmary for a gruelling refresher on force healing, which had lasted all damn morning. His head is swimming with hastily relearned anatomy and the remnants of headache hovers behind his eyes. It feels like a particular waste of time because...well, he can’t force heal. He’s never been able to force heal. With his midichlorian count through the roof, there had been high hopes at the Temple that he might have turn out to be a gifted healer. The fact that he had zero aptitude for an ability so closely associated with the light, while his skill with a lightsaber grew ever more pronounced, was a nail in the coffin for a lot of Jedi waiting to see if he was destined for light or dark.</p><p>That feeling of being a disappointment is actually the easiest thing to deal with about his lack of ability. He shies away from the sickening memories of holding his mother in his arms and knowing that if he’d only tried harder, been better, less corrupted by a childhood outside the Temple, he could have saved her. He should have been able to save her. Instead, he’d done the only thing he was good for...</p><p>But those aren’t thoughts he’s losing himself in today.</p><p>A cautious hope had sprung in him when Yoda suggested his lack of ability came from the fact he was so much stronger in the Cosmic rather than Living Force. He’d been instructed to try healing again when he was back in the field, preferably on clones with massive physical trauma. Apparently, stabilising soldiers until they could make it to the bacta tanks would suit his brute power and low natural aptitude. Stabilising trauma victims hadn’t exactly been on the padawan curriculum so it’s not like he’s had an opportunity to try before.</p><p>“You alright, sir?” He shakes himself and claps a hand on the shiny’s pauldron reassuringly.</p><p>“Just thinking. Shout if you want a break, or if any alarms start blaring.”</p><p>He heads to the door and down a ladder to join the rest of the men in the cargo hold. They jerk to their feet, clearly unused to spending much time around an officer, or really anyone except their brothers. Well, he can take care of that while they travel.</p><p>“Right, who knows how to play Sabacc?”</p><p>“Erm, all of us, sir. Not much to do in barracks.”</p><p>“Excellent.”</p><p>“But,” Anakin gives the trooper, Axe, he thinks, a questioning look. ”We don’t have any money to bet.”</p><p>“That’s alright. Jedi aren’t allowed to play for credits.”</p><p>“Why not?” The kid’s voice trails off at the end and, as Anakin’s eyes fall on him, he looks like he is only just holding back the urge to salute. The paint on his armour is so perfect it’s almost still wet and when Anakin had asked their names he’d been given only a number.</p><p>“Oh, because we’re so bad at it!” He hears a choking sound from under Snipe’s battered helmet and carefully doesn’t look at him. This is going to be fun.</p><p>By the time they reach the Resolute the shinies have been suitably disabused of any misconceptions about the angelic nature of the Jedi. With only a modest amount of cheating he’s killed their tendency to twitch every time he moves. Not to mention suitably distracting himself from the feeling his bond with Obi-Wan weakening as they travel ever further away from one another through the dampening fuzz of hyperspace.</p><p>When he comms Rex he finds him planet-side, mopping up after the battle he and Obi-Wan had missed. They head straight down and Anakin is relieved to throw himself into helping the locals rebuild their damaged bridges, while Rex oversees the ferrying of heavy artillery back to the Resolute.</p><p>It’s amazing how much harder it is to repair structures than damage them. But bridges in particular are easier to repair with a force user around and he mostly just holds things steady. The result isn’t pretty but it will save the poorer inhabitants taking long detours to ford the river Rex had been using to hold off waves of clankers. It looks like it was a neat battle with light casualties and Anakin smiles at thought of Rex’s relief not to have any Jedi making it more unpredictable than it needed to be.</p><p>Back on the Resolute he reviews their next briefing packet with Rex and the other officers on the bridge. They’re heading two systems over to form part of a deterrent force above a planet they have intelligence the Separatists may target next. It’s a blatant misuse of their potential but Anakin has learned that war is full of these frustrations. There isn’t always a battle on somewhere and life in the GAR is all about the hurry up and wait. </p><p>Still, it will good for the men to have some time to relax. He wraps up the meeting swiftly, eager to get away from the Admiral’s snide remarks about ‘classified Jedi missions’. Somehow he has no problem with Rex and the other men’s comments about jetii kebise. Which apparently means Jedi stuff but was definitely used as a polite substitute for jetii osik or Jedi bantha shit. But the Admiral manages to imply that whenever Anakin has separate missions he is simultaneously slacking off and recklessly causing problems that the non force users will have to clean up after. To be honest he prefers the company of the vode over pretty much all the nat born officers. He's  seen too many instances of prejudice against the clones. </p><p>When the Admiral asks why his return was delayed, he spitefully doesn’t tell him, citing operational security and invites Rex back to his quarters to catch up properly.</p><p>“Was it actually classified, sir?” Rex says, smiling and dumping his bucket, pauldron and upper arm guards by the door. Anakin knows most of the vode hate the way the arms clack against the chest piece but there’s a drilled in order to the ways the armour comes off and on. In an emergency the chest and back pieces are the priority. Arms are less important. Anakin’s pretty familiar with that one. Although he is pretty keen on keeping at least one, thanks very much.</p><p>“No idea. But better to err on the side of caution right? Loose lips lose us ships.”</p><p>“I had no idea the Admiral was a security concern, sir,” Rex says in his driest tone. “I will inform the men to watch what they say around him.” Anakin grins at him and throws himself down on a chair.</p><p>“I’m sure they can tell a trustworthy officer when they see one.”</p><p>“Really, sir? So you haven’t been able to persuade anyone to play Sabacc with you recently.”</p><p>“They were shinies! The others have more sense.”</p><p>“Yes, you’ve made sure of that. Does this mean I don’t get to hear about what you were doing, sir?”</p><p>“Classified doesn’t apply to you Rex, you know that. But it’s serious jetii kebise, sure you’re up for it?”</p><p>“Forewarned is forearmed.” </p><p>Anakin shrugs and launches into the story of Ventress and Dooku’s ambush. Rex drops his face into his hands at the description of the canyon they walked into. Anakin resists the urge to insist that they had realised it was a trap.</p><p>“So they were trying to turn you into a darksider, sir? Why?” Anakin’s face twists in discomfort, he doesn’t really want Rex to know about this. Working with the vode has been so refreshing, they don’t have the same preconceptions about him as the the Jedi do. For a moment he can’t find the words but Rex just waits patiently.</p><p>“I have....the most raw power, I guess, and the least control.” </p><p>“Your control seems pretty good to me.” Anakin smiles without any humour.</p><p>“The Jedi think differently. And they’re not wrong.” It’s not something he likes to admit. “Force control is all about balance and controlling your emotions.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“Yes, not something I’m well known for. And I was taken in too late, growing up like I did is a bit different than the Temple crèche.” Rex knows about Anakin’s past as a slave, the parallels between that and the way the clones are viewed as property had cemented trust between himself and a rather sceptical Rex when they’d first been assigned to each other. </p><p>“But General Kenobi ruined the shot,” Rex says, dragging Anakin out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Yes, Obi-Wan took the hit and got dosed.” Rex frowns.</p><p>“Sorry, sir. I’m having trouble imagining the General as a darksider.”</p><p>“He really doesn’t seem like the type does he? Remember when Shine first set up that still and the whole platoon got blind drunk?” Rex nods with a slightly bittersweet smile. They’d lost most of that platoon a couple of weeks later. “He had no inhibitions, but just as competent. And more powerful.”</p><p>“Scary thought, sir.” </p><p>“Yeah.” They’re silent for a moment, Rex has seen force users, dark and light on the battlefield. He knows as well as anyone what one fallen master could do to their chances in the war.</p><p>“I assume he didn’t strip naked and rampage through the hallways like third platoon, though.” Rex says with a smile, clearly aiming to lighten the mood but Anakin feels his face flush and mouth go dry at a rather vivid memory of Obi-Wan stalking towards him topless.</p><p>“Ah, no. Not quite.” Rex’s eyes widen comically. “Let’s just say I managed to call the Council and keep him in one place long enough for them to come save the day.”</p><p>“Uhuh.” </p><p>Anakin shoots him a chagrined look for the disbelieving tone. He grasps on to a detail he can, and probably should, tell Rex.</p><p>“We reformed our force bond.” A grin spreads over Rex’s face.</p><p>“Force bond, huh?”</p><p>Anakin wants to protest that’s not what Rex thinks it is but contrary to popular opinion he knows he’s a terrible liar.</p><p>“We’ll be able to talk mind to mind now if were in range. Should come in handy for joint operations.” Rex’s expression focuses, as Anakin had hoped it would.</p><p>“What’s the range?”</p><p>“Not sure.” He closes his eyes. “I can’t speak to him from here,” he pokes at the bond. “I can feel he’s alive and...happy to be back with the 212th...I think. That’s about it.” With his eyes closed he misses the way Rex’s eyes widen.</p><p>“The 212th should be passing the Dagobah system around now. That’s one hell of a long way, sir.”</p><p>“Yeah. I think we can assume we won’t have any problems on joint campaigns.”</p><p>“Well, the jetii kebise might be useful then. He’s okay now?”</p><p>“Passed out for a couple of days afterwards but he’s just fine now,” Anakin smiles and determinedly doesn’t think about just how thoroughly Obi-Wan had proved that to him. “Not a scratch for Cody to complain about.” Rex smiles at the mention of his brother.</p><p>“Fussy di’kut.”</p><p>Anakin’s comm goes off and his heart leaps to see it’s Obi-Wan. He hears something suspiciously like a snigger from Rex and jerks his head up. </p><p>“General Kenobi, by any chance?” Anakin glares at him. “I’ll leave you to your serious Jedi business.”</p><p>He’s still glaring at the door and considering throwing something at Rex’s retreating back when the holo of Obi-Wan pops up.</p><p>“Anakin?”</p><p>“Yes, sorry. Rex has been giving me the third degree.” Obi-Wan smiles.</p><p>“I’ve had something similar from Cody.” Anakin smiles, he doubts the more straight-laced Cody had used quite same words as Rex but he’d probably been thinking it. Obi-Wan is back in his general uniform, probably due to some pointed comments about the relative effectiveness of robes versus armour against blaster fire from Cody.</p><p>“I hope you don’t mind me checking in...” Obi-Wan trails off and Anakin feels a tinge of irritation. Early in his command he had resented any contact from his master that seemed to imply he wasn’t fully confident in Anakin’s ability to lead his men. But he catches the expression on Obi-Wan’s face and realises he’s embarrassed. The thought that he wasn’t sure this call would be welcome makes Anakin’s heart clench and he almost reaches out to the flickering image.</p><p>“I’m always happy to hear from you, Master.” Obi-Wan visibly relaxes and Anakin is suddenly very relieved he didn’t lash out. “It’s bizarre not having you in my head after the last few days.”</p><p>“Yes. I’m finding myself a little off balance.” </p><p>“I can still sense you, but its fuzzy.”</p><p>“Yes. It’s stronger than the training bond was though.”</p><p>“Maybe, I was shielding pretty hard from you a lot of the time though. There were some impulses,” he pauses and throws a smirk at Obi-Wan, “I didn’t want you catching onto.” He’s pretty sure that was an eye roll even through the holo. “I’m not sure how much I ever pushed myself, talking to Yoda was a bit of a revelation.” He trails off and Obi-Wan hums with polite interest but Anakin has known him long enough he can see that he is dying to hear about the lesson. What a nerd. He caves and gives Obi-Wan a brief run through. </p><p>“How fascinating,” says Obi-Wan, stroking his beard. “You could really sense Master Mundi and me?” </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Obi-Wan seems to sense he’s still not quite ready to discuss it in detail and moves the conversation on.</p><p>“So you’ve joined the Resilience and the Hinamoa at the blockade?”</p><p>They catch up on their respective missions and chat for a while. There’s not much to say but the sudden stretching of the bond has clearly been a little rough on both of them. It’s a pleasant way to end the long day and smooths away some tension that Anakin hadn’t even noticed building along his shoulders.</p><p>He sees Obi-Wan yawn.</p><p>“Get some sleep, Master.” </p><p>“I will. I’m hearing some whispers about the situation on Geonosis. I wouldn’t be surprised if we both end up there soon enough.” Anakin sighs.</p><p>“That place again. It would be nice not to wait weeks to see you but...”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’ve stolen the idea of jetii kebise from tattooedgreenhouse amazing fic. I am teaching myself how to be free.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They spend two days in hyperspace and a week stationed on the blockade before they get the summons to assemble for the attack on Geonosis. It’s frustrating to be systems away from Obi-Wan when everything is so new between them. But they keep in touch and he is a warm and reassuring, if distant, presence at the back of Anakin’s mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Part of him is a little glad as well. More has changed in the last few days than since....well the last time they’d gone to Geonosis. He’s glad of a little down time to acclimatise. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s pleasant to be back with the vode when they’re not in the middle of a battle. He discusses the war with Rex and flys training runs with the pilots. Officially it’s for training anyway, but honestly they were singled out for their aptitude and they all love to fly. Survival odds can be so bad on missions it’s a pleasure to be in the air together just for the fun of it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a thousand men under his command on the Resolute and he can’t possibly get to know them all. But he knows the fighter squadrons, plus Torrent Company and all the vode with an interest in tech and fixing things. There’s official and unofficial rooms where they gather to tinker and write fresh code, especially since Anakin made it clear he approves. It’s a rush to find he has the power to do so and reminds him of days spent in the Temple wishing he could skip lessons to finish one project or another. He brings rations for them when he visits and then often stays so long he misses the next meal as well. Rex frequently comes to find him there and drag him out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He speaks to Yoda twice while on the blockade, one short and one longer lesson. He’s been meditating in his room up until now but at the Grandmaster’s suggestion he finds an observation room on the lowest deck that allows him to sit with only triple thickness transparisteel between him and the black. It’s easier to find balance when it’s just him and the vacuum. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One time he even gets a space suit and jet pack from the quartermaster and goes out onto the surface of the Resolute. It’s so peaceful out there, he feels like he could stay for hours. Out on the right rear fin, everything ahead of him is empty, only the faintest whispers of the force moving through the black. Before Yoda’s lesson over Coruscant he wouldn’t have though to look for them but he’s getting more used to listening for their presence. In comparison the ship behind him is a furnace of the Living Force. A thousand souls and he can feel every one. Groups in the mess hall and rec room sparking with laughter as they brawl and argue, the shift in the middle of their sleep cycle is a pleasant banked warmth in their bunks. Not all in their own bunks, Anakin notices, the vode think the ship is cold and will double up when they get sick of it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His heart warms to feel the battalion like this and has to acknowledge he is attached to the 501st as well. Sorrow runs through him to think that after their next engagement, there won’t be a thousand souls at his back. There will be empty bunks and grief echoing through those halls as the men who remain mourn their brothers.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And yet, it won’t stop him from spending their lives in battle, if it is the right thing to do. Can he say the same for Obi-Wan’s life?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He releases his emotions into the force as best he can and the vacuum absorbs them hungrily. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He unfolds himself and powers up the jet pack to fly back to the hangar doors. Before going in he turns and hangs there in the black, looking out for just a little longer. He loves flying in space, it’s so different from his early days pod racing. Ninety eight percent of that was just not crashing into all the crap littered around the course and designing engines that could filter all the nonsense you got in the atmosphere planet side.Everything is so much cleaner up here, no up, no down, no atmosphere, no gravity. Just you and the ship, like freedom.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He turns to head back inside and sees Rex through the force field, his arms are crossed and he’s glaring fiercely at Anakin. When he steps back inside he gets reamed out so thoroughly for scaring everyone that he’s discouraged from going out there on a regular basis. Rex manages to do it in that specific way only subordinate officers have and no superior has ever developed a successful defence against.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the call finally comes, he’s sparring with Rex in the gym Torrent Company have claimed for their own. They’ve run through the vode’s standard workout plus the exercises Anakin prefers company for. As he relaxed into his new command he’d found this was one of the best ways to socialise with the men. Physical training was where Jedi and clone training had the most crossover and in long stretches spent in hyperspace it was often one of the only things the men had to occupy their time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was useful for Torrent Company in particular to get used to fighting alongside a Jedi and Anakin enjoyed showing off for them. Without another Jedi around to practice with he would have been reduced to the ‘blindfolded while a droid shoots at you’ exercise that for some reason had been so popular at the Temple. The alternative ‘blind folded while people try and hit you with sticks’ exercise was still possible with non force user companions and anyway, Rex had vetoed Anakin blindfolding himself while the men shot at him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Moving mediation exercises like that were remarkably helpful in acclimatising to his men’s presences in the force and helping him keep track of them during a battle. After a few practice sessions he didn’t need to see them to know where they were.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When his comm goes off he pushes sweaty hair out of his eyes and answers it to see Obi-Wan on the bridge of the Negotiator.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin.” He sees Obi-Wan’s eyes shift to take in his half dressed and sweaty appearance and tries to resist removing his shirt to give Obi-Wan an even better view.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Master?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Council meeting just finished. Get ready for a call from Outer Rim Command.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Geonosis?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can neither confirm nor deny.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Geonosis.” He lets that sink in for a moment and the focuses on the silver lining. “Okay, I’ll be seeing you soon then.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“One bright spark.” Obi-Wan sounds even more tired and wry than usual, which doesn’t bode well for the of concentration of droids they should expect.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sign off and Rex comes to his elbow looking expectant.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’d better clean up. It seems our rest is over.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir.” Rex is stoic as always but Anakin can sense the usual mix of sorrow and anticipation that affects most of the command class clones when they receive new orders that will fling them in the path of danger once more.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, General!” One of the company shouts form the other side of the room. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, Hop?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was that General Kenobi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was, get ready for new orders.” There’s a ripple of excitement through the room and wide eyes from the new recruits.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never mind that, sir!” One of his brothers aims a slap at his head for the lack of respect but he side steps. “When are we going to see you are the General fight again?” Anakin laughs, someone in the 212th got footage of him and Obi-Wan practicing their forms last time he stayed aboard the Negotiator and it seems to have been doing the rounds.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know Hop, seems like you’re all distracted enough already. Wouldn’t want to put you off your game before a battle.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But sir. It would be inspirational!” Anakin glances at Rex with a thoughtful look. The clones aren’t really built for cold feet before a battle but there’s going to be some unhappy troopers when they realise it’s Geonosis that the war is taking them to next. There’s not many of them that remember the planet from last time, but that’s sort of the problem. Geonosis had been a slaughter for Jedi and clones alike.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rex gives him a shrug but looks speculative.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll ask him.” Hop lets out a whoop and there’s excited muttering from all around the room. “But we’ll have to pry him away from Outer Rim Command,” Anakin says, raising his voice over the rising commotion. “And you know how they can be.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The comment is disregarded and he and Rex head for the door to clean up before they talk to Command. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whoever runs the book on this one is going to make a mint.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See if you can do a bit of damage control but a distraction before the battle isn’t a bad idea.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll com Cody and let him know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rex’ika, that is a terrible idea. I swear you sound more like your General every time you com.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan catches the tail end of Cody’s call when he returns to the bridge after everyone else has left. He understands the need for operational security but every time someone sends the Commander out of a briefing it makes him want to drag them down to the mud or dust of their next battle to remind them it is the vode who fight this war for them. He tries not to listen to the rest of the call and only tunes in when Cody moves to his elbow with a sigh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Everything okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“More or less, sir. Rex and General Skywalker have a plan to help the men relax before the battle.” Obi-Wan feels a headache start behind his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do I want to know?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m afraid you’re rather heavily involved.” The headache intensifies. “Perhaps you should speak to General Skywalker?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” He turns and faces Cody, folding his arms over his chest. “I believe I should gather all relevant intel before walking into dangerous situations. You’ve reminded me of that before.” Cody’s lips twitch.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Apparently the men have requested a duel between the two of you.” Obi-Wan desperately wants to disapprove but his fingers instantly itch for his lightsaber. It sounds like a lot of fun. There is such a thing as timing though.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right before a battle?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well no one really wants to think about being back on Geonosis, sir. This way all they’ll talk about is the betting.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmmm, not a terrible idea. I suppose I’ll be fighting for the honour of the 212th?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Serious stakes, sir.” Obi-Wan lets out a laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Quite right.” He starts powering the displays ready to head back to his quarters. “Okay, I assume the news is over half the ship by now anyway, no need to squash the rumours just yet. I’ll talk to Anakin about it.” He heads over to the door with a wave.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make him squirm, sir.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hear you’ve requested a public lightsaber lesson.” Anakin’s eyes flash and he grins, flickering blue image leaning back in his chair.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Something like that. Just want to check your geriatric bones are up to the task before we deploy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t recall any complaints about my performance lately.” He lets his voice drop slightly and puts a teasing edge of his words. Anakin’s eyes crinkle and he bites at his bottom lip.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mmm, no. You are remarkably talented, Master.” Obi-Wan feels love blossom in his chest rather than the desire that would be a much simpler consequence of their flirting and it takes him a moment to drag himself back to the point.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But we shouldn’t go all out. Not before a battle.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Something friendly is probably a better idea.” Anakin is clearly a little disappointed. There’s not a single uncompetitive bone in his whole body. “I’ll get Rex to spread the word we won’t be declaring a winner. They can still place bets. They’ll just have to be more creative.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We can leave a real knock down, drag out fight for when we’re on blockade duty for weeks on end.” Anakin brightens visibly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Perfect.” It’s moments like these that Obi-Wan misses him like oxygen. He’s happy on the Negotiator, or as happy as he can be in the midst of a war, pushed into a role he was never trained for. The Dagobah system has been treating them well. He likes his men and he and Cody get on like a house of fire, if an extremely peaceful and orderly one.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But when he sees Anakin’s face picked out in blue light he wants nothing more than to be able to reach out and touch him. Bury his hands in those curls and taste the smile on his lips. Anakin when he’s happy is blinding, Obi-Wan has always hated the way the modern Jedi teachings seem to dampen that light. He’s told himself it was a necessary evil to ensure Anakin didn’t become a victim to his own temper. And, a smaller darker part of his mind insists, to make sure no one else fell victim to Anakin’s temper. But he doesn’t have to like it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Last thing at night as he sinks toward sleep he reaches out to the bond and relaxes against the feel of Anakin in his mind, distant but still present. Often he can just about tell he’s already asleep, presence muted and at peace.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wants to tell Anakin he misses him but the words won’t come.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll be jumping to hyperspace before long,” he says instead.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin eyes are fixed on his face and seem to understand what he can’t say. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Us too,” his voice is gentle and Obi-Wan’s throat goes tight.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll see you soon then.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, standing over you, being crowned the completely unofficial victor.” His mood lifts in an instant and he barks out a laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll see about that, padawan.” He cuts of the transmission with a wink.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Your comments give me life and blushes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Anesor and ring, I’m afraid I can’t give you what you’re looking for yet! Even the disaster lineage knows it’s a terrible idea to end a public duel with a dip and kiss but I promise there’s something for you in the next chapter! Plus you got me past and awkward moment so *blows kisses* In the mean time here’s Obi-Wan being a fucking tease. Because Obi-Wan flirting his way through duels is absolutely canon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The duel has been arranged for the meeting place where the ships will rendezvous ahead of the last jump to Geonosis. The Resolute and the Negotiator should arrive around the same time but Master Mundi and his battalion have further to travel.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan stands on the bridge of his ship trying to pay attention to the Admiral and not the space where the Resolute will soon appear. The force bond between them has been dulled by distance and hyperspace. What effect hyperspace has...well if Obi-Wan particularly wanted to understand distance in the context of hyperspace he’d ask Ki Adi, or possibly Anakin and then try and stay awake through the answer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the Destroyer finally does slide into existence, Anakin’s presence explodes behind his eyes. Power surges through the bond and Obi-Wan feels it spike in his fingertips like an adrenaline rush. He nearly staggers and reaches out for the edge of the display table on the bridge.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For a moment he sees double, through his own and Anakin’s eyes and feels Anakin’s relieved breath to have Obi-Wan so much closer. Cody moves towards him, disregarding the rambling briefing that could and should have ended fifteen minutes ago.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, sir?” His voice is low and his body turned protectively into Obi-Wan. The other officers don’t notice, many of their expressions glazed over some time ago anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine, Cody. Anakin’s just a little enthusiastic.” Cody glances up and sees the Resolute.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, force bond.” Obi-Wan shoots Cody’s completely impassive face a look that says ‘don’t tease’ and is rewarded with the slightest twitch of his lips.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rest of him is entirely focused on Anakin, whose excitement is barely restrained. Did he forget how intense Anakin is now that he isn’t trying to hide it? Or has he actually grown stronger in the last couple of weeks?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finds his mental balance and pushes back against Anakin in a welcoming embrace. Perhaps, if they can reunite like this, it will save them from Anakin’s complete lack of subtlety when they actually come face to face again. He makes a mental note to talk to him about how to manage when they’re around the Council. The bond shouldn’t be easily sensed by others but Anakin burning like a happy star to see him will not go unnoticed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s less of a problem in this case, because the first time they see each other they’re surrounded by hundreds of cheering troopers. The duel is held on the Resolute since it was the 501st who’d come up with the idea, plus a few lucky shuttles worth of the 212th to represent. The rest will watch a live stream back on the Negotiator. Obi-Wan steps off his shuttle, surrounded by his men to see a space already cleared in the hangar and Anakin standing with Rex and a few of Torrent Company in the centre, arms crossed and a brilliant smile on his face. They clasps arms tightly and try not to linger too long.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Anakin. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>It’s good to see you. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Around them the 212th and 501st get reacquainted with a mixture of joy and rivalry. They aren’t remotely subtle in their promises to take each other to the cleaners. Each battalion resolutely backs their own general. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But General Skywalker was your padawan wasn’t he? Surely the safe bet is on the teacher? Waxer had gone a little too far in his support and voices the protest from waist level with a blue painted arm wrapped around his neck.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, it’s true, I did teach him everything he knows.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Exactly, sir.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“One day I might even teach him everything I know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group around them shout and guffaw with laughter. Anakin presses a hand to his chest and mimes a shocked expression but his eyes are bright with laughter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before the audience can become too impatient they reiterate the rules and clear the floor. They will fight for twenty minutes with their lightsabers on low power. Anakin and Obi-wan pace away from each other, turn, bow and drop their cloaks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan notices some of the troopers reacting already and sees what looks like markers changing hands. He makes a note to check what it’s all about with Cody later. He drops into the Soresu salute, feeling anticipation run through him like a live wire. Anakin brandishes his light saber in his usual two handed grip and with no warning they explode towards each other. There’s a shocked pause and then the assembled vode let out a roar of sound. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s only when they clash that it hits Obi-Wan that this is the first time they’ve fought since the bond was renewed. Sparring with Anakin has always been one of his favourite things, it's held their relationship together through the worst of their fights. Now it’s like poetry. He can’t consciously tell what Anakin will do or anything like that but it’s definitely made a difference on an instinctive level. The force wraps around them and pulses back and forth along the bond. They flow through the forms faster than ever before and blue light leaves trails along the edges of his sight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They break apart to circle each other, looking for openings and Obi-Wan hears some of the nearby troopers shouting and commenting to each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wayii!” </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are they really fighting? This is more like dancing.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan smiles inwardly and pushes forward, slamming a kick into Anakin’s chest. He drops into a backwards roll and comes up with a feral grin on his face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Most violent dance I’ve ever seen.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin runs at him and flips over at the last moment aiming a swipe at his head as he sails past. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe a mating dance.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Force, they’re so transparent the whole vode can see it. They are really going to have to talk about that before Master Mundi shows up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sprints at Anakin and is deflected but continues on the offensive and drops to swipe his leg out in a wide circle. He’s hoping to trip Anakin but he jumps out of the way easily. Obi-Wan presses forward with a brutal combination that pushes Anakin back across the floor. Anakin reacts by spinning his lightsaber in a wide circle, pushing Obi-Wan back and giving himself room. The air is full of the smell of ozone and it brings an avalanche of memories and exhilaration. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Getting tired, Master?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just giving you space to breathe.” With the power surrounding him and his blood pumping audibly through his veins he suddenly craves a very specific dark power he’s sworn never to use again. But, because he’s far from the perfect Jedi everyone claims, he pushes the thought of it into Anakin’s mind, twitching his fingers and imagining the pressure on Anakin’s throat. He feels shock and lust rush run through Anakin’s mind instantly and it leaves fire in its wake.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>That’s cheating.</em> Even in his thoughts the words are hoarse and he narrowly avoids tripping over his own feet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>All’s fair...</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin takes an obvious breath and engages once again with an overly showy spin, which nevertheless gives his attack the strength of an angry bantha. Obi-Wan meets him blow for blow for a while and then disengages with a laugh and runs back, using the force to bound up on top of a pile crates. He stalks from one side the the other, spinning his lightsaber in lazy circles, before slipping back into the Soresu salute and beckoning Anakin forward. The younger man glares at him for the retreat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Coward.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The crowd breaks out into whispers and shouts. Coward is an insult in Mandalorian culture in a way it just isn’t to the Jedi. Obi-Wan spreads his hands with a smile and raises his voice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Winning is about more than just brute force. You have to fight with your head.” He reaches into Anakin’s head, all warmth and promise, as he smiles down at him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To his credit Anakin just gives him a slightly transparent haughty look and refuses to be drawn into making a mistake. Instead he takes a step back and smiles, then reaches out with his left hand and makes a yanking motion in the air. Obi-Wan feels the motion in the force and tenses to spring, only to find nothing has changed. He looks down to see Anakin has removed the crate underneath the one he’s standing on. He directs an unimpressed look at the younger man for such a showy move. The clones don’t agree.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kandosii,” someone shouts from the crowd as some of the shinier troopers gasp in surprise at the display.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin grins and flicks his hand up, enjoying the reaction. This time the crate Obi-Wan’s standing on is pushed violently upwards. He’s sent smacking to his knees and then rolling off the side but he manages a reasonably graceful flip and balanced landing. He attacks swiftly, while Anakin is still wrapped up in being smug, catching him with a force push and aiming a follow up blow towards his knees with his lightsaber. Anakin rolls out of the way just in time and scorch marks burn along the grey floor, even with their weapons on low power. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin struggles to his feet and catches Obi-Wan’s next blow on the length of his saber with more brute strength than skill. They strain against each other, eyes meeting over the sabres and Obi-Wan feels muscles burn in his arms and along his back. This is exactly the kind of thing they really shouldn’t be doing before a battle but the fight is intoxicating. The line between them in their bond blurs with all the power streaming around and through them. It feels like a coast line during a storm, land and sea becoming indistinguishable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re panting hard and Obi-Wan eases off enough to grind the length of his lightsaber along Anakin’s, subtle enough it’s only noticeable in the changed pitch of the lightsabers combined buzz.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good move with crates.” <em>Not how I would have imagined this visit ending in bruised knees</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Obi-Wan!</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>What?</em> “We are deploying for a battle tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin glares at him and risks a burned face as he violently breaks the stalemate and aims flurry of blows at Obi-Wan’s head that he barely keeps up with. Inside he’s laughing and Anakin can clearly tell. The intensity of his attacks are building and while there’s no malice behind them he is becoming faster and more focused. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The buzzer sounds obnoxiously and they both stumble. Stopping a duel midway, especially one like this, is always unsettling. There’s a moment of silence before the cease fire sinks in and then the audience breaks out in groans and cheers. Focus broken, they find they’re both sweating and panting hard. Obi-Wan turns to Anakin with a slightly apologetic but still heated smile and gets a slight eye roll in return. They power down their weapons and attach them back on their belts before bowing formally to each other and their audience.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The hangar erupts in more cheers and arguments break out all over the room about specific bets. Cody and Rex stride over and hand the generals their cloaks before they get trampled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll give them a little while to calm down and then chase them to their bunks, sir.” Rex addresses the comment to Anakin but he’s looking at the hundreds of brothers fondly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, yes. Thanks, Rex.” Anakin sounds distinctly unfocused and his force signature has calmed little, if at all, from when they were fighting. Obi-Wan takes pity on him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, I believe you have an update for me?” He puts his hand on Anakin’s arm and feels the rigid tension under his touch.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, yes.” Obi-Wan smiles politely at Cody and Rex and leads Anakin away towards his quarters.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They don’t make it that far.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as they get away from the flow of troopers moving out of the hangar, Anakin grips his elbow and steers him forcefully into what turns out to be the main briefing room. He’s pushed roughly against the wall and Anakin’s mouth is on his. It feels unbelievably good, even two weeks away has felt like forever. Anakin pulls back just far enough to shove Obi-Wan’s cloak off his shoulders.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan grins and lets the heavy robe drop to the floor before leaning in to press a brief teasing kiss against Anakin’s lips.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin pushes him back against the wall and slides a leg in between Obi-Wan’s, he can still feel the force raging inside Anakin and its a fire in his blood as well. The combination of time away from each other and a duel left half finished means their burning with all the intensity of binary stars collapsing towards each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A fucking tease, Master.” He scrapes his teeth along Obi-Wan’s neck above the hard collar of his armour. “There is no way that didn’t count as cheating.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There are no rules that forbid...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What? Treating public duels as foreplay?” He pulls back, distracted by his rant. “Huh, I wonder how they never got around to writing that one down. Seems like any sensible being wouldn’t need it spelling out!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan uses the opportunity to push him across the room backing him against the display table. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I see, it was a terrible violation of the rules of combat.” He pulls away, shaking his had slowly and trying to look contrite. “I must meditate on my failing.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin lets out a growl of frustration and spins them round pushing Obi-Wan against the display console. It’s slightly too high for him to sit on comfortably and he can barely keep his feet on the floor when Anakin pushes in between his legs, warm hands heavy on his knees. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly his frustration seems to ebb and he eases back a fraction to run his eyes over Obi-Wan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Have I ever mentioned how good you look in this?” He runs his hands up the blacks Obi-Wan has taken to wearing under his robes and armour when he’s in the field. “I nearly swallowed my tongue the first time you first showed up in armour.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had noticed that of course but had been working extremely hard not to think about the attention from his newly knighted but still essentially jailbait ex padawan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you say anything even vaguely along the lines of ‘it would look better on my cabin floor’ I will throttle you.” He’s so very glad Anakin was always too scared to try and flirt with him. He’s a devastatingly sexy man but never less so than when he’s trying to be. Unless he’s naked apparently, that was a very welcome surprise.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin laughs out loud and leans in to press a kiss into Obi-Wan’s neck and whisper in his ear, while his fingers flick open the clasp on Obi-Wan’s belt.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Promise?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hooks his calf around the back on Anakin’s leg and uses it to drag him in closer. Under his robes, Anakins hands are pulling open the blacks and skating over the line of his rapidly hardening cock. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feeling reignites all the desperate energy of the duel and he yanks at the fastenings of Anakin’s robes, desperate to get his hands on skin again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally he gets both of them in hand and hears Anakin moan his name, sending an additional shiver of pleasure through him. Force help him, he’s having sex half sprawled on the display console of a briefing room like a horny teenager. But even two weeks has felt like a lifetime and the connection between them is so damn intense. Anakin mocks him for treating sparring as foreplay but he can’t really deny it, he’s been dying to feel Anakin against him like this since he stepped off the shuttle. As they race towards climax together it becomes harder to stay his own head, their breaths are syncing up and their hearts pound as one. He feels his own hair and hip under Anakin’s hands almost as intensely as he feels their hard lengths and the muscles of Anakin’s back in his own.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin’s babbling nonsense and he isn’t even sure if it’s out loud or directly into his mind. He can feel how close Anakin is and drags his mouth away to lean back and watch him fall over the edge. He meets Obi-Wan’s gaze for a second before his lips stretch around a moan and his eyes flutter closed. The sight pushes Obi-Wan over the edge as well and he drops his head onto Anakin’s armoured shoulder as he shudders though his orgasm.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As the desperation and desire fades their panting breaths fall out of sync and feel more obvious in the silent room. Anakin pulls back a little and rests his sweaty forehead agains Obi-Wan’s, humming out a contented sigh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s good to see you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They clean up as best they can and Obi-wan berates himself for his complete lack of patience and self restraint. He’s a damn Jedi Master he ought to be able to keep his hands to himself long enough to make it to a bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin pulls him into a kiss and he lets himself lean into it for moment longer before they have to go back to being professional. Of course, it’s then that door slides open.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Mandalorian:</p><p>Wayii! - General exclamation of surprise<br/>“Kandosii!” - Nice one</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Anakin pulls him into a kiss and Obi-Wan lets himself lean into it for moment longer before they have to go back to being professional. Of course, its then that door slides open.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh my, what a surprise.” Rex’s tone is as dry as the desert. “Cody did you see this coming? I did not see this coming.” Obi-Wan looks at his commander, his mind completely frozen. Cody’s eyes are full of warm amusement. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See what coming? I don’t see things that aren’t any of my concern.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good point. I didn’t see anything either. Apart from if anyone tries to dump all their paperwork on me in future. Then I might be overcome by a terrible fit of remembering.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin barks out a laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rex, you are the best.” Obi-Wan pulls himself together and tries to restore a sense of normalcy, even if no one else seems very concerned by this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What did you two need?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing much, general,” Rex turns his attention to Anakin. “The men are heading to the barracks. There are details for the deployment that we could go over but it would probably make more sense to wait for the other battalion.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin clasps a hand on Rex’s shoulder and guides him out into the corridor leaving Obi-Wan and Cody to fall into step behind them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come up to my quarters, we can chat about it there and have a drink as well.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan exchanges a slightly bemused look with Cody but mostly he’s struck once again with pride at how Anakin treats his men and how relaxed he is around them. His friendship with Rex is obvious and he has an easy habit of command that makes him a favourite among the vode despite the risky battle strategies he often subjects them to.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they arrive at Anakin’s quarters, he watches as Anakin strips down to his undertunic and Rex pulls off selected pieces of the clunky plastoid armour and piles them near the door with the ease of long familiarity. Cody follows his lead, adapting with his usual ease and Obi-Wan feels briefly guilty they don’t have the same level of informality in their meetings. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The general’s quarters on the destroyers are generous in comparison to most and there’s a small seating area with a couple of couches for informal meetings. Unsurprisingly, it’s littered with datapads and droid parts but Obi-Wan has shared space with Anakin for years and absentmindedly clears a space for himself on one couch, as Rex and Cody take the other. He’s ignoring his emotions as best he can but he is finding this whole situation very disconcerting. He has no regrets about his and Anakin’s relationship but the instinct to hide it is very strong. Logically, he knows they have nothing to fear from Rex and Cody and there’s nothing he can do about it now anyway. But he still feels off balance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin reappears and passes around tea and a bottle of some unidentifiable but probably non-alcoholic liquor. He takes one look at the pile of droid parts on the other end of the sofa and drops gracefully to the floor, leaning his back against the sofa and knocking his head against Obi-Wan’s thigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While Obi-Wan tries to repress his instinct to panic, Rex gives them a run down of the 501st preparations and Anakin quizzes him on a few points. This is a part of Anakin’s command Obi-Wan don’t usually get to see and, when he manages to relax slightly, he’s interested to have the chance to observe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Were you two at the first battle on Geonosis?” Anakin asks the brothers and Cody shakes his head but Rex nods.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir. It was...a bit of a shock.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Complete shitshow, yeah.” Anakin’s words are flippant but his tone is serious and his hand moves to fiddle with the clasps on his leather glove. The Jedi Temple had been devastated by losses the Order had suffered and Anakin had had his own loss to cope with in the aftermath. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that what happened to your arm, sir?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Anakin hesitates a moment and then pulls off the glove, flexing his metal fingers as they appear. Surprise flickers over Rex and Cody’s faces and Rex leans forward.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t realise you actually lost it, sir.” Obi-Wan is pleased to see concern, anger and the instinct to protect flashing clearly across both clone’s faces. Anakin shrugs slightly, uncomfortably vulnerable. He’s never been one to trust easily and this is difficult for him. Obi-Wan had been amazed at how he had adapted to his prosthesis and he seems to really enjoy tinkering with it. But he still thinks of it as a vulnerability and it’s true that if it were common knowledge there are various weapons that could be used to exploit it. Keeping the information on a need to know basis made sense. Obi-Wan pushes warmth through their bond and gives in to impulse and threads a hand through Anakin’s hair affectionately. Anakin leans into it, lolling his head back against Obi-Wan and the tension in him dissipates. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s make sure you leave with the same number of limbs you go in with this time, hmm?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin laughs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s always my intention, Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rex leans back in his seat and looks satisfied to see his general relaxing once again under Obi-Wan’s touch. He sighs and thinks for a moment how to make this request.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry to put the two of you in this position, but I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t advertise our relationship. This sort of thing is...strongly discouraged for Jedi.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels Anakin shrug.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yoda knows, he thinks its a good thing.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes but the rest of the Council: Ki Adi, Mace...” Anakin groans.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, yes, I can only imagine how appalled Windu would be.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They won’t find out from us, sir.” Cody’s voice is final and warm. Rex looks offended to even be asked and Obi-Wan feels relief flood through him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I suppose it won’t hurt if the pool goes on a little longer.” Obi-Wan’s heart judders to a halt.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The men are betting on us?” Rex looks like a deer in the headlights at his horrified tone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Er. There might have been one or two bets that the duel would be resolved more...peacefully.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s words are cut off by Anakin’s bark of laughter and Obi-Wan buries his face in his hands. Their only hope is that the people who’ve known them their whole lives and can read minds, are more oblivious than two battalions of men who have had almost no chance to form romantic relationships. Great. Just, great.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After all Obi-Wan’s worries it’s surprisingly natural to be back on the bridge of the Negotiator pretending he’s never even considered sleeping with the general next to him. Not to mention talking to Outer Rim High Command about how to attack Geonosis. Again. Cody and Rex outline the plan and leave to relay it to the other Captains. Obi-Wan watches them go and Anakin stares down at Geonosis as they emerge from hyperspace.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first battle of a Geonosis isn’t exactly a happy memory for him, the events of the few days leading up to it cast a cloud of anger and hate over everything else. He resents almost everything that happened in those weeks. He should have been able to go to his mother's aid when the dreams began. He should have been with Obi-Wan. He shouldn’t have had to fight. Obi-Wan should have noticed how unbalanced he was. The Council should have noticed his fall. They should never have knighted him. They should have knighted him sooner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He takes a breathe and pushes all those thoughts away. This time is different and he’s known the campaign was coming for weeks. He feels anticipation and excitement start to rise in him, pushing everything else away as he prepares himself to fight.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan is still staring in the direction of the clones and his thoughts have clearly taken a very different path.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wish I’d never gone to Kamino. They should never have been created to die in battles they have no stake in.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The way Anakin sees it, the battles have to happen eventually and the sooner the better. More time only means the droids will build stronger defenses and they’ll be harder to take down. The war will drag on and they’ll lose more men.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, Master. But there’s no avoiding this now.” Obi-Wan throws him an irritated look.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This isn’t going to be an easy campaign. A lot of these men are going to die.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They know that,” he shrugs. Obi-Wan sorrows over what has been taken from the clones and castigates himself for being involved but Anakin is more of a mind to take things as they are. Humans shouldn’t be built, they shouldn’t be altered so they are more subservient, have less fear, become perfect toy soldiers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But people shouldn’t be enslaved either and no one seems to have enough of a problem with that to stop it happening.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan gives him a hard look and seems to bite down an angry retort. Instead he nods to Anakin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“May the force be with you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin sighs internally.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And with you Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the drop ship Anakin laughs and jokes with Torrent Company’s first platoon, doing his best to break the tension. They lay bets on who will waste the most clankers that day and bemoan the markers they lost over Anakin’s and Obi-Wan’s duel. To his everlasting amusement one of the bets was on most dramatic robe drop. Anakin is going to think of that before every future duel and he tells them so.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The amusement, if not the exhilaration, fades from the shuttle as they break atmosphere and start attracting heavy fire. Anakin can feel Obi-Wan’s worry vibrating in the back of his head and feels him freeze as Anakin’s shuttle goes down. It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before and Anakin is back on his feet in seconds. The danger now is that the droids will try and blow the fuel cells while they’re all trapped inside.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tears the bent door from the shuttle with ease.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on! Get up, we have to keep moving.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then he’s on the battle field once more, lightsaber flashing before him, getting out ahead of his men to draw as much fire as he can. He hears his men rallying behind him, finding cover and racing forward when they can. He can feel them in the force as well, burning brightly with courage and determination, even though many are being snuffed out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hears one of the platoon shout in triumph as Anakin jumps and rolls, pushing himself forward at a breakneck pace.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They’re falling back.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The clones follow him through the weakening shower of blaster bolts and then they’re on the Geonosian’s gun emplacement and can take a few seconds to breathe under better cover. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He and Rex take muster and they press forward once again, destroying one cluster of resistance after another, while they desperately try to work out how far from their planned landing site they are.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the back of his mind, he feels Obi-Wan’s tension increasing once again but this time he’s focused on his own situation. Out ahead of Anakin and Ki Adi, the 212th had the benefit of surprise but it seems the Geonosians are finally catching up. He feels the blow when Obi-Wan’s shuttle is hit and tries to ignore it as he angles his lightsaber to deflect another blast.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>“We’re hit, we’re going down! Brace yourselves.”</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Obi-Wan’s shuttle hits the ground, bounces and flips, he feels pain course through him and cries out, ducking behind the short wall where Rex and a couple of other men are sheltering.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sir! Are you hit?” Rex grabs his shoulder in concern. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” he grits out, mind conflicted. He knows he should raise his shields and concentrate but he desperately wants to check Obi-Wan isn’t too badly hurt. “It’s Obi-Wan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Master, are you okay</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I’m fine, Anakin. Focus on your men,</em> Obi-Wan growls through the bond and throws his shields up. Anakin reels from the abrupt disconnect and takes a sharp breath trying not to feel like he’s been slapped in the face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cody says General Kenobi never made it to the landing site, his gunship got shot down.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, Rex. Tell Cody he’s alive but injured.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin takes a few deep breaths. So, Obi-Wan is injured an potentially trapped in a downed shuttle. Vulnerable. He wants to go to him, dig him out and make sure he’s okay. The need to protect is burning inside him, threatening to devour everything else. He could do it, he could find and steal a ship or speeder from the Geonosians without much trouble. Rex and the men would be okay.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He slaps the impulse down. They would not be okay. He would be sacrificing their lives just because Obi-Wan’s is in danger. He takes another breathe and lets it out, thinking back to sitting on the Resolute and basking in the light of the vode surrounding him in the force. When he feels those empty bunks at night he wants every one of them to have been absolutely necessary. Rex and Torrent don’t deserve a general who abandons them. Not to mention Obi-Wan would kill Anakin himself when he realised.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes snap open and he turns to look over the wall, lightsaber at guard position. He may have to do his job before he can help Obi-Wan but he’ll be damned if he wastes a single moment. He takes stock of the Geonosians emplacements and then turns to Rex.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re gonna rush the guns. I’ll give you cover.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir.” Rex passes the word along the lines and Anakin steels himself before diving back into the fray.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they arrive at the fortress wall he can feel pain starting to bleed across the closed off bond, along with even more acute mental anguish. Presumably, more clones are dying in the wreckage around Obi-Wan as they wait for a rescue. Anakin hopes Cody will get there soon.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tries to restrain his irritation that they’ve arrived at exactly the obstacle they’d been trying to avoid. Anakin really doesn’t have the patience for this right now. He grabs the explosives and a grappling hook and scales the cliff like it’s personally offended him. When he gets to the top he is swamped by droids, no matter what he does it’s too much for one lightsaber to burn through. He sees Rex arrive and signals him to wait. Calming his mind he reaches out in the force and feels for the simplistic patterns of the battle droids and their limited, mass produced AIs. He clenches his mechno hand and feels them collapse all along the wall. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s better,” his voice has a strange sort of echo but he ignores it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sir?” Rex sounds tentative but Anakin just gestures at him to hand over the second bag of explosives and dumps it into an opening, stabbing his lightsaber through an emerging droideka before it has a chance to put its shield up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Time to go!” Anakin slings an arm around Rex’s waist and throws them off the wall. The man screams and clutches at Anakin until he hears his General laughing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ni’duraa” Rex spits at him as Anakin reaches out a hand to slow them down and let them come gently to rest on the ground.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aw come on, that was fun!” Adrenaline burns through his veins and he feels like a live wire. The ground rumbles as the charges go off inside the wall and he releases Rex to throw his hands up. He could just keep it from coming down on them but they’re short on time. More importantly, the 212th and Obi-Wan are short on time. Instead of trying to hold the debris above them, he braces a foot hand him and gives the whole collapsing mess a massive push. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For the larger pieces, it only means they fall away from the 501st but the smaller boulders and rocks are pushed farther and rain down on the droids and Geonosians sheltering behind the wall. As the dust clears, a scene of destruction appears with the few survivors climbing onto speeders and retreating swiftly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin barely notices, in his mind Obi-Wan has finally released his tight grip on their bond, as he is pulled from the ruins of the shuttle. He’s in pain and under fire but alive and out of the mass grave the shuttle has become. Relief washes over him but he knows the 212th are still isolated and in dire need of support.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They’ve got him. Waxer and Boil got to Obi-Wan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, sir?” Rex’s voice is a little distracted, his visor still locked on the settling dust and rubble. “Oh, that’s great news,” his shoulders relax slightly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They move out, the Company finishing off the odd twitching droid as they pass. It’s a relief to grow ever closer to Obi-Wan and even more so when he can call in some air support for the 212th from Admiral Yularen. The 501st beat Master Mundi and his troops to the drop zone and Anakin can finally check Obi-Wan is okay with his own eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He isn’t. Considering Obi-Wan would rather hike for three days on an injured leg than see a medic, running up to find him sitting on the ground in the middle of a firefight is a very bad sign.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, what happened to you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I could say the same,” Obi-Wan snarks back in an exhausted voice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Turns out the Geonosians weren’t all that happy to see us again.” Anakin throws himself down beside Obi-Wan and gently drags the man over to rest against his chest, ignoring his outraged squawk. “Rex, can you organise the defence with Cody until Master Mundi arrives?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin! What are you doing?” He tries to pull away and clenches his teeth around a pained cry.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Helping you. You know I can’t heal but I can lend you the strength.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re under fire...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, so it would be great if you could walk.” Anakin changes tactics. “You don’t trust Rex and Cody to cover us?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course, I...”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Stop arguing, Master. You’re wasting time.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fine.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan finally relaxes against him and opens the bond as wide as it can go. Immediately, the pain Anakin had been sensing from Obi-Wan’s chest and leg increases ten fold. Every breath he takes is agonising and being hauled to safety by Boil must have been excruciating. Obi-Wan pulls Anakin down into him but instead of the blinding blue light of his mind it’s his body they sink into. He brings their awareness to his ribs first, drawing on Anakin’s power and his own and wrapping the energy around the break in the bone. With a tiny delicate push of the force he realigns the bone and the whole image wobbles as his vision goes grey with pain. Anakin does his best to stabilise him and after a few seconds he refocuses. They bring the force to bear on the break and with an effort of will that leaves Obi-Wan sweating, splinters start to knit across the break and they can move on the the next fracture and the next. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Generals,” Cody’s voice breaks through their meditation. “Master Mundi will arrive in a few moments.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They untangle themselves mind and body. Obi-Wan gives Anakin’s mind an affectionate and grateful caress as he pulls away, the absence of pain making him feel wobbly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Commander.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cody steps back in surprise as Obi-Wan rises to his feet and stretches with minimal visible discomfort. Before he can say anything Master Mundi appears and Obi-Wan starts to lay out their next steps. Clearly even broken bones hadn’t stopped him strategising.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He directs Anakin to take out the shield generators and Anakin smiles with pleasure, it’s exactly the kind of mission he likes and where his skills will be of the most use.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Consider it done, Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tumultuous first few hours set the tone for the whole campaign. It’s violent, unrelenting and exhausting. As usual when they’re planetside, they have no time to themselves, meals are taken standing up and peering over battle plans. They sleep where they can, usually huddled in the closest tent that has a space, filling the gap of one of the fallen vode. Like many planets on the inner ring of a habitable zone, Geonosis burns during the day and freezes at night, it’s uncomfortably like Tattooine. The only saving grace is that the Geonosians dislike the cold night temperatures and in the frigid hours of the dark they only need to worry about the droids. Small mercies.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the fighting stops on day one as the temperature drop,Anakin stands at the edge of the battlefield and casts his awareness outwards. About twenty yards out there’s a trooper who’s still alive and Anakin makes a beeline for him. A trail of blood leads the few feet from where he must have fallen to a rocky outcrop where Anakin drops to his knees beside him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, trooper. You’re a bit of a mess.” Anakin’s no stranger to ways blaster fire can destroy a body at this point but he usually tries to ignore it so that he can concentrate on leading. This will be exactly the opposite and a big part of him wants to shy away from the harsh reality. “What’s your name.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lightning, sir.” He’s shivering and the words come slowly. “Wasn’t fast enough today. Sorry, sir.” Anakin puts his back to the rock and drags him close, the same way he’d done for Obi-Wan that morning. Watching as a Obi-Wan had channeled his power earlier had flipped a switch in Anakin’s brain, as if he had suddenly understood something about healing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t be sorry. I need your help with something, Lightning. You up for it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I might be dying but I’m still 501st, sir.” Anakin laughs and tightens his arms around the man. The 501st truly are the best in the GAR.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damn right, soldier.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He drags off Lightning’s armoured gloves and then his own, hesitating slightly at the one covering his left hand. But he’s never had any problem with using it to manipulate the force, despite what the healers had told him to expect when he lost it. Linking their fingers together leans his head back on the rock.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Breathe with me, Lightning. Then concentrate on where it hurts. Don’t push me away.” Anakin sucks in a breathe, emphasising the motion so that Lightning can feel it and follow along. After a few shaky breaths together he dives into the force and follows the burning pain to its source. He can’t do anything about the blaster burns but that’s not what’s draining the life from the soldier right now. The burns have eaten through the femoral vein above his knee and sent a splinter of plastoid deep into the gap between his pauldron and breast plate, nicking the auxiliary artery. That chunk of plastoid is the only reason that Lightning has lasted this long and the chances are high that when Anakin takes it out he’ll bleed out in seconds. Better start with the leg.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wraps his power around it the vein the way he’d watched Obi-Wan do that morning. At the very least it forms a barrier and keeps the blood flowing sluggishly where it should. He aligns the severed ends and feels Lightning jerk but he clamps his arms tight around the man and concentrates. Slowly it starts to knit back together as Anakin’s breaths come faster. Exhilarated, he turns his attention to the Lightning’s shoulder and before he can talk himself out of it gently slides the plastoid fragment out of the torn flesh. This time Lightning screams but Anakin hardly notices as he holds the artery together and pushes it to mend. He closes a few extra layers of tissue to keep it stable and leans opens his eyes, panting hard.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sir?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Looks like you’ll live, Lightning. The 501st isn’t done with you yet.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After that Anakin tries to help out where he can with the injured. He’s still not good at it and probably never will be. But he can stop a few his men bleeding out long enough to get them to an aid station and it saves a some lives. It also heightens his awareness of the injured on the battle field and he begins to understand why Jedi become healers or warriors, not both.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It isn’t long before the 212th and 501st are separated. Instead Anakin finds himself working with Luminara and padawans Bariss and Ashoka. Geonosis doesn’t really seem like the kind of mission to bring learners on but what does Anakin know? After all, he’s pretty much been relegated to some sort of second padawanship under Master Yoda. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nevertheless, he still argues against the padawans getting sent into the depths of the droid factory. They have more than one fully fledged Jedi here, one of them, preferably Anakin, could go instead. Ashoka gets all impassioned and snippy, literally going on her tiptoes to get in his face and tell him that her and Bariss are more than capable.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s highly entertaining and he makes a mental note to ask Obi-Wan to put them on the list for her and Bariss’ training rotation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When it inevitably goes wrong, he has to breath through his irritation at Master Luminara. The men around them start to die as the super tanks roll forwards on the bridge. He has more of the explosives he used on the wall but that would require the 501st to draw them out, retreating under heavy fire. He knows he can take the bridge down and he pushes away the fear that grips him as he imagines doing something so showy in front of Luminara. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rex, take cover! I’m going to take out the bridge.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Skywalker, you can’t be...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master Unduli,” he nods at her calmly, trying to silence his drumming heart. “Will you cover me while I make the attempt.” The formal tone shocks her into a polite response, exactly as he had hoped.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They make their way to the head of the bridge, their lightsabers deflecting a storm of blaster fire. Master Unduli takes up guard position, her saber moving too fast to see and Anakin throws himself to his knees and places his palms to the ground. His mind washes out across the structure feeling for weak points and he pushes into the ground with the force. It groans under his hands and waves shudder through the earth making his teeth rattle. He bites down and repeats until he feels chunks start to shake off the bridge. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gasping for breath he pulls himself to his feet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good try, Skywalker. We should use the explosives.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin barely hears her. Or notices Obi-Wan looking out through his eyes as he registers Anakin’s massive pull on the force. In his mind all he can seeis the bridge and that weakness ten yards out. He takes a running leap and brings his fist down with all his might on the exact spot he felt. There’s a reverberating crunch and the stone ahead splinters and slips down several feet. The tanks slips forward and their combined weight finishes the job and the whole section falls into the canyon.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he turns Luminara is staring at him, eyes unreadable. She opens her mouth to speak but her com buzzes and Barris and Ashoka’s voices deliver their goodbyes before they cut off and blow the factory.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If Luminara’s decision to send the padawans in had annoyed him, her willingnessto leave them to die sparks actual rage. He doesn’t deny the young ones had made the right decision. It’s an impressive sacrifice for two so young, putting duty above the their own lives. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But not to do everything possible to save them is just wrong. Anakin calls up the shuttles to lift the rubble and search for them and makes no effort to hide his capabilities as he levitates the debris away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ni’duraa -  You disgust me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So much angst. I hate writing angst.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the droid factory is destroyed, the 501st and 212th are both rotated off the line. Obi-Wan watches Anakin’s shuttle rise from the ground and feels the bond stretch as he breaches atmosphere. Obi-Wan’s exhausted and despite Anakin’s endless strength, even he has to be feeling the long days and short nights of the campaign. He’d felt the vibrations in the force as Anakin had broken the bridge and again when he’d cleared the debris off the padawans. He aches to tell Anakin how proud he is, he’d felt irritation and anger but Anakin hadn’t been using them to fuel the force. It had been powerful but balanced, even in the midst of battle. Something that’s been rare for him in the past. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Obi-Wan walks to his own shuttle, he looks out over the lines of fresh graves and tries to imagine a world where he never has to come to this planet again. He feels hollow inside and wishes he could reach out to Anakin but something stops him. Love and desire feel very far from all this death. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It doesn’t matter, Anakin shows up on his quarters that night when all the briefings are done.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t look so surprised, Master. I can feel you, remember? You were breaking my heart.” Obi-Wan smiles without any real amusement and drags Anakin inside. They end up in bed, taking comfort in each other’s warmth and the relief of being wrapped around each other again after the hardship and heartache of the last week. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He needs to sleep but despite his exhaustion Obi-Wan can’t stop his brain running in useless circles.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s over, Obi-Wan. You can’t do anything about it now.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Irritation flares briefly inside him, he can’t get over Anakin’s apparent callousness when it comes to his men. It’s been better since they bonded and Obi-Wan could feel his concern and determination to keep the 501st alive. Something he too often tries to accomplish by throwing himself directly into the line of fire line. But Obi-Wan can’t help feeling that the near slavery the clones suffer under should keep Anakin awake at night as much as it does him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t stop thinking about them. So many will have lost friends, batchmates.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know.” This time Anakin clearly feels the flash of irritation across the bond and he sighs. “Meditate with me. We can check in on them.” Confusion and then a flutter of interest rise in Obi-Wan, he’d been fascinated to hear about Anakin’s lesson with Master Yoda.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Alright</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They breathe together, chests expanding and releasing against each other in unison and instead of looking inwards, Anakin guides him out. Obi-Wan’s done this before, of course, but not often and his range is limited. Mostly he uses meditation to keep his own mind in order, not to look out at the world.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With Anakin beside him he drifts through the Negotiator, the ship is running a skeleton crew while everyone else gets some rest. A few insomniacs are in the rec centre and canteen but most are in the barracks. He’s surprised to feel their presences bunched up, they’re sleeping almost universally two or even three to a bunk. Obi-Wan hadn’t realised they did that when they weren’t in the field.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sorrow and exhaustion permeate the air but there’s comfort too. They take solace in their still living brothers, in the warmth and strength of their arms. He flicks his attention back to his body and the obvious parallel to what he and Anakin are doing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin’s voice echoes in his mind, his attention still on the silent barracks and the empty bunks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>We are still alive,</em> he pauses and Obi-Wan’s throat burns, sudden and intense as he recognises the words. He joins in as tears start to run down his face. <em>But they are dead. We remember them and so they are eternal.</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They drift back to their bodies and Obi-Wan chokes out a sob. Anakin drags him into a kiss and then presses their foreheads together. When he pulls back Obi-Wan sees tears sparkling on his lashes as well. To feel the vode’s sorrow and finally see the evidence of Anakin’s grief finally releases something in him and he feel like he can breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They fall asleep pressed together but wake only a few hours later panting and sweating. A few data pads and droid parts drop back to the floor with a clatter. Obi-Wan had seen the flashes of the 212th falling and dying but also the 501st. Heard the buzzing of Geonosians wings and the never ending barrage of blaster fire. There had been flashes of four spinning green and blue lightsabers and yellow eyes in red flesh. Force cuffs had wrapped around black gloved hands. His hands wrapped around plastoid armour and fingers sticky with blood and he’d felt arteries pulsing beneath his power as he tried to realign them. He’d painted slick yellowish red A on the helmet of a clone he thought might live and left the others for the burial detail.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That wasn’t all my...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nor mine.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We dream together now? That’s never happened before.” Anakin’s voice is disturbed and Obi-Wan can’t tell if it’s the content of the dream or the fast disappearing barriers between their minds.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You started healing the men?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Anakin’s voice lightens but he sounds uncertain. “I can’t do much but it seems to mean a lot to them that I try.” Of course it does, all the clones have trouble shaking the idea that their only use is to die in battle. If a Jedi bothered to heal them, they’d be awed. And it’s not like the 501st need any encouragement to idolise Anakin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He reaches for Anakin’s hand and squeezes it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s amazing, you should be proud.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin’s smile is full of shy pleasure.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks.” He flops back down to the bunk releasing a breath but he soon starts fidgeting. “Has Luminara said anything to you about what I did at the bridge?” Obi-Wan frowns, that’s a weird turn to the conversation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, why?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’ll tell the Council. It’ll be in her report to Outer Rim Command.” Anakin is clearly uncomfortable but he’s not sure why. If anything Anakin usually resents the Council for not acknowledging him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that bad?” Anakin doesn’t answer and his eyes are fixed on the ceiling. “Anakin I don’t understand why you want to hide your power. Why you’ve been hiding it for so long. The Council could have helped you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin gives him an incredulous look.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You really believe that? The Council have always hated my power. They see me as a problem that could have been avoided.” Obi-Wan wishes he could deny that and truly he does think Anakin has more support on the Council than he realises. But he can’t deny they would never have given permission for his training if first Qui-Gon and then Obi-Wan hadn’t forced their hand. “When you were turned to the dark, you were so angry that I would turn you over to them. You said they would ‘cut you down or lock you up.’ I don’t want to spend the rest of my days in the new Citadel.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But you haven’t fallen.” Anakin’s eyes flicker away and its a moment before he continues.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have the potential to. They expect me to,” a bitter edge creeps into his already chilly tone. “And thats enough,” he pauses for a moment and then seems to let some of that bitterness go. “I’m trying Master, harder than I ever have. But I can’t see that they will ever change their minds.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan reaches out and grips Anakin’s hand, he wants to argue but Anakin does have a point. The Council have always been overly watchful of him, Obi-Wan has spent many hours in the Council chamber explaining the actions of his rash padawan, pleading for their patience and understanding for a gifted student brought late to the teachings. With too much experience of a harsh world outside the Temple. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels frustration rise in him. They don’t realise how hard Anakin has fought for what control he has on his power. Now that Obi-Wan recognises the true extent of it, it’s even more impressive. Some of the masters are so difficult to read, taught to keep their emotions in check from early childhood, little shows on the outside and Anakin always takes it for disapproval.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes he’s right.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks down at Anakin, he’s thrown an arm over his eyes, blocking the light from tired eyes and the lines of his body are tense. He looks so vulnerable like this. Young and uncertain. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It can be difficult to remember he’s only twenty two sometimes. Twenty two and a general with access to the kind of power few can imagine. Desperate for someone to tell him he’s doing the right thing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t promise you they’ll change their minds Anakin. But neither will I. I believe in you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s less than a cycle before they’re back on Geonosis tracing Luminara’s footsteps. A mission that turns into a disaster of a whole different kind. Because they always seem to at the moment. Obi-Wan is irritated to lose the chance to study the worms and Anakin jumps at the opportunity to tease him about taking additional risks and ‘being a kriffing nerd Master’.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They head back to Coruscant with their prisoner, dropping out of hyperspace only to take on water at some middle of nowhere planet with a GAR outpost. The destroyers are self sufficient, of course, but they’d used up a lot of the ship’s water supply transporting it down to the dry surface of Geonosis to keep the battalions hydrated. Anakin heads down to the planet at Obi-Wan’s request with Cody and Rex to check in on the shinies running the middle of nowhere posting.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re properly awed to see two jetii but not, Anakin thinks, as awed as they are to see Commander Cody and Captain Rex in all their scarred, battle roughened glory. The two of them play up to it as well, teasing their little brothers mercilessly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He and Obi-Wan leave them to it and go to stand outside. It’s another desert planet, damn them all to the Sith hells. Anakin is dying for a campaign in a forest world, or anywhere temperate really . He would take snow at this point, just nothing that reminds him of Tattooine. Geonosis had been appalling, he’d forgotten how much he hated sandstorms. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He glowers at the setting suns. This planet’s even in a binary star system, although thankfully the second star here is comaparitvely tiny and orbits the other the same way the planets do. It makes it slightly less hot than Tattooine. At this point in the cycle at least. Anakin’s pretty keen on never coming back to find out if it gets worse.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan seems unbothered, the only planets he can’t stand are the swamps. The man hates wet heat. He’s still smiling to himself from watching the clones interact. He loves to see them getting a chance to experience life away from the front lines. Anakin stares out at the sky line and wonders how long it will be before they can get back to the destroyers. He can see one of the shuttles on a return trip to suck up more water. This planet wasn’t always a desert and once upon a time the outcrop the GAR station is on would have been a sea cliff. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now the sea level is maybe a mile out and hundreds of feet down. What water is left is mostly salt and the land it has left behind is dust. The shuttles will filter all that out but the growing central star in the system has burned away all higher life forms.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can feel Obi-Wan’s eyes on him as he glares out at the red rock. Anakin knows he’s brooding and is trying to keep it behind his shields. Outside them Obi-Wans’s presences is light and inquisitive. Someone’s in a good mood at least and it’s a pleasure to feel his cheerful mischievous fizz against Anakin’s mind after the crushing grief and despair Geonosis had left in him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know, it’s been a while since we were together and not in the middle of a campaign.” He joins Anakin and leans into him, pressing their sides together discretely. “We should make the most of it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin returns the pressure briefly but he’s not really up for joining Obi-Wan in his good mood. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll be back on Coruscant soon enough.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But what is Coruscant compared to this?” Obi-Wan turns towards Anakin and takes a couple of steps back. He spreads his hands, gesturing at the wastes spread out around them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin’s lip twitches despite itself, though his mind still growls that if Obi-Wan had as much experience of planets like this as he does, he would have left Rex and Cody to come down here alone. They would have been just fine.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan smiles to see his expression soften and he twirls his finger in a tight circle and uses a whisper of the force to draw up a tiny cyclone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I thought you were so fond of sand.” He gestures towards Anakin and a wave runs over the ground as particles start to rise. In seconds there’s a tiny stream of them starting to wind around Anakin’s leg.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master!” He backs away, breaking up the stream, shocked and vaguely appalled at the blatant misuse of the force. Especially when it’s so specifically calculated to wind him up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan grins and crooks his fingers, drawing the sand up to flow in a ribbon that pursues Anakin and heads intently for the gap between his wrist and sleeve. Anakin makes an outraged noise and stumbles backwards again. Getting this planet out of their clothes is going to take forever anyway. If Obi-Wan doesn’t stop kriffing around it will follow them all the way to Coruscant.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks up with betrayal in his eyes to see his Master grinning at him. He feels Obi-Wan’s intentions crystallise in the force and panics, aiming a rough swipe across the ground to throw a wave of sand at Obi-Wan and distract him from whatever he’s planning. It swamps the man’s feet and throws particles all the way up his body making him jerk his face away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin freezes but hears his master sputter out a laugh. Obi-Wan shakes his boots free and leaps up the rock face behind them, using a gesture to pull debris from the cliff and direct it down to Anakin. He sees the cloud coming and dives out of the way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From there it only gets worse. They chase each other all over the cliffs, bounding over the rock faces. Obi-Wan’s laughter echoes off the stone and Anakin finds himself grinning fiercely, all thoughts of Tattooine erased.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He manages to sneak a large handful of sand down the back of Obi-Wan’s tunics by distracting him with a frontal assault and earns his mock wrath. While fleeing from retribution, he misplaces a foot on the scree and stumbles, smacking a knee on the stone and giving Obi-Wan an opportunity to tackle him. They tumble to the ground and Obi-Wan pins him to the earth with a triumphant smile. His hands press Anakin’s shoulders into the rock as he leans his weight forward. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can’t help but stare up at Obi-Wan, he’s panting with exhilaration and the setting sun behind him forms a halo around his head. His mussed auburn hair shines in the light like a cool fire, despite all the dust it has picked up. Dust that is showering down onto Anakin’s face as Obi-Wan leans in to claim a kiss. Anakin gives up and just closes his eyes to keep the tiny particles out. It’s not like he isn’t covered head to foot already.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Feel better?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. But only so you’ll stop trying to cheer me up with sand.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, if it works...” Anakin’s pretty sure the fact it worked has a lot more to do with Obi-Wan than the sand. He brings his hands up to rest on Obi-Wan’s thighs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kiss me again?” Obi-Wan smirks and leans down to hover above his mouth before brushing his lips across Anakin’s in the very lightest of kisses, forcing him to strain upwards to deepen it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Obi-Wan pulls back his eyes are dark and he removes his hands from Anakin’s shoulders reluctantly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I did bring you down here for a reason.” Anakin grips Obi-Wan’s hips tighter and smirks. Obi-Wan huffs out a laugh. “If I just wanted to get you out of your robes that would have been significantly easier in my quarters.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hate to break it to you Master” Anakin says, raising his eyebrows. “But unless we want to take half this hell planet back with us, the robes will be coming off at least long enough to shake them out.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan climbs off him and pulls him to his feet with an elegant shrug.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was thinking about the other night. You need a chance to stretch yourself, without worrying about who’s watching.” Anakin brushes sand off himself and considers that. Obi-Wan wants him to...what? Throw rocks around for the sake of it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m aware of the irony here but isn’t that misuse of the force?” Obi-Wan grins at him and then his expression turns more serious.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Misuse of the force is to use it for selfish ends. That might be to subjugate another soul or to perform a menial task. You know this. To do so encourages us to forget what it is to live without the force, pushing us ever further away from the people we should be using our power to help.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So sand fights are....”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fun,” he says with a smirk. “But I also hadn’t realised how uncomfortable you feel using the force.” Anakin frowns, that’s not strictly true, he’s fine with using the force, he doesn’t even think about it. He just doesn’t like pushing it past what the other Jedi do, it draws too much attention. “Were we not at war I wouldn’t be saying this, in a better world no Jedi would need to find out how strong they really were.” He looks wistful and then shakes himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So. We’re in the middle of nowhere. It’s just you, me and a dead planet. This isn’t a lesson,” he sends Anakin a warm look, “I can’t be your master and your lover. But, if you wanted to, this would be a good place to test yourself.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin’s hesitant about the whole idea, he’s not sure what Obi-Wan’s expecting from him. But he is right, Anakin’s never really felt comfortable enough to see what he can do and there’s no one here for him to hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, I’ll give it a go.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their chase has brought them to the edge of a plateau and ahead of them the rocky outcrop slides into dunes and boulders. He folds himself into a meditative position at the highest point, where it starts the shelve away. His posture is stiff and he’s still unsure but to his surprise Obi-Wan comes to wrap himself around his back. He jerks in surprise and Obi-Wan sends a calming wave against his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Theres no need to be so formal. You’re not a padawan anymore, you can learn however you like.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He gives the hand snaking around his waist a squeeze before resettling himself to sprawl against the sun warmed stone a little further down, letting the rock cradle him and leaning his head back against Obi-Wan’s chest. He takes a look out over the desert and closes his eyes against the overly familiar landscape.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He settles into his breathing and feels Obi-Wan do the same but while his Master stays relatively present he begins to give himself over to the force.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d told Yoda he’d felt life in the desert and it was true. Or perhaps he just felt the force. Almost everything on this planet was dead. But the planet itself wasn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Its rhythm’s are slower than a conventional life form, if it had a heart to beat it would take a rotation to do so. For all that, it is no less alive, no less present in the force. Its core is warm and molten, its ecosystem is its suns, sibling planets and their moons. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin listens to that slow pulse and feels the force moving through it all. As he breathes in, he draws it into himself. As he breathes out, he sends it through his body and his fingers tingle where they rest on his thighs, flesh and durasteel alike. He feels the rays if the sun beating down on him and the sweat cooling under his clothes from their chase. The sunlight streaming down is the connection between the planet and the wider system. It warms the rock, which warms the air sending it up into the atmosphere. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thinking back to Obi-Wan’s teasing earlier he makes a gesture with his mind and twirls a pocket of air in front of him, creating a tiny cyclone. He pushes it forward and slides away down the rock face. He keeps up the pressure with the force, sending air flowing towards his creation. As it moves down the cliff it becomes ever bigger. The warm air shimmering above the rock wants to rise and the cool air at higher altitude is happy to fall. He opens his eyes and sees it reach towards the sky. As he feeds it air he feels the the current ruffle their hair and robes as it whips past them. It’s found enough momentum not to pull the cool air from above the shrinking sea a few miles away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The force flows through him easily, the working holding all elements of the planet in harmony and he is only the the catalyst and the fulcrum on which it balances. His eyes drift closed again and he basks in the feeling.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But his mind drifts and when he opens them again he sees his creation is moving over the dunes towards a series of red rock spires that look all too familiar. They remind him of the edges of the Dune Sea and a speeder ride with hate in his heart, blood on his robes and one hand stretched out to balance his mother’s body. His stomach rolls.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The balance wobbles and then collapses, the tornado falling apart as if it had never been there.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Anakin</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan’s voice echoes in his mind full of concern and Anakin shoves it away. He rises to his feet and stalks along the cliff. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How can he master this power if he can’t get away from the past. All those Jedi who watch him are right to do so. He can’t maintain the balance, he can’t be trusted. Tears burn in his eyes and throat. He desperately wants to reach out into the force in anger, use it to give voice to the feelings inside of him. There is no passion only peace. Small stones start to tremble around his feet.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Anakin, what’s....</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He holds up a hand to Obi-Wan and concentrates, letting go of his despair, giving it to the force. It rushes out of him leaving him tender and hollow. To fill the gap he reaches out again throwing his mind into the eternal, cosmic force. If only he could bask in it without bringing along his endlessly churning mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With less peace in his heart than there should be, he throws up his hands and feels the dunes rise up with them. He opens his eyes to see particles billow into the sky for miles ahead and rise to tower above them. It looks like an oncoming sandstorm held perfectly still. He drops his hands and feels the larger particles fall to earth but the dust remains. It will probably take hours for it to settle.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan’s mind brushes against his and this time he leans into it. He feels Obi-Wan approach slowly and wrap his arms around him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Do you want to talk about it</em>?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin is silent and his heart hammers in his chest at giving away even that much. He should deny there is anything to talk about. But he knows now he needs to talk about it. What he did disrupts the fabric of his whole being. It’s always there, hiding in the back of his mind, ready to scuttle out and destroy whatever he works to build. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">I...not yet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">When you’re ready, I’ll be here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan retreats from the edges of his mind and gives him the privacy he’s afraid to ask for. He sends a wave of gratitude even as guilt, shame and self hatred rise inside his core.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So much more angst ahead. Jesus Anakin, this would be a lot easier to write if you hadn’t killed a bunch of people. </p><p>Just imagine Cody and Rex watching them dicking about from the watch tower.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Star Wars day! Have some angst....</p><p>Maybe trigger warning for intrusive thoughts?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That night Anakin dreams of Tattooine. He wakes with a start, heart pounding and sweat soaking into his sheets. So, he does what he usually does and heads down to one of the engineering workshops, losing himself in a project until Rex comes to find him the next morning. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it’s not just that night, instead it sets the tone for the entire trip back to Coruscant. After waking up every night reliving his worst memories, he can no longer deny its time to for him to face this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nevertheless, he can’t process the idea of confessing to Obi-Wan. He’s so deeply in love with the man, their relationship is the brightest thing in his life and he can’t bear to poison it with this. It’s what gives him hope and his motivation for striving to stay in the light. Everything about what they are, is so far from what he did and suffered on Tattooine that he can barely believe they happened to the same person. He’s terrified of Obi-Wan’s reaction but it’s more than that, he can’t integrate the Obi-Wan’s Anakin with the Anakin that...did those things on Tattooine.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A part of him knows that confessing to Obi-Wan would be wrong anyway. He would be duty bound to inform the Council. He could either betray Anakin or betray his beliefs. It’s easier if Anakin doesn’t make him choose.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Decision made, he coms Obi-Wan to ask if he, Cody and Rex can deliver their prisoner without him. It’s clear that Obi-Wan is aware something is wrong, despite the dulling effect hyperspace has had on their bond. An effect Anakin is extremely glad of right now, the thought of Obi-Wan dreaming these dreams with him makes him want to crawl out of his skin.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan agrees easily enough but his eyes are concerned and he asks again if everything is okay. Anakin reassures him and tries not to imagine that this is last time he sees the man before he’s sent to the new Citadel.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s more of the same when he flies away from the Resolute. He doubts he will see them all again as their general. He has no idea where this path he’s starting down goes, how people will react, what his sentence will be. Who will lead the 501st?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he lands, he sits in his seat a few moments longer and tries to calm his racing heart and the nausea crawling up his throat. He takes a few deep breaths and finally brings his comm to his mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master Yoda, may I speak with you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Felt you coming, I did. Already waiting, I am.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He strides towards the meeting rooms and doesn’t let himself falter or slow. All the way his mind screams at him that there is no coming back from this, that it can’t possibly be the right choice. He could turn around, go visit Padme or the Chancellor, get horrendously drunk in a dive bar and pretend none of it ever happened. But not if he wants to keep the bond with Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda answers on the first knock and gestures him to one of the meditation couches, taking the other for himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Something to talk about, have you?” His voice is so sure it’s barely a question.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were expecting this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Knew something had happened, long ago, I did. A bad sign, it was, that you never spoke of it. Gives me hope, that you come to me now.” Anakin swallows and doubts that the master will feel the same when he is done. But the whole tale spills out nonetheless.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As he speaks, the master’s shoulders sag and his ears droop with sadness. Eventually, Anakin’s word stumble to a halt and he waits. For a long time Yoda is quiet and Anakin stews in his pain and fear.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“As I feared, it is. Terrible things, your pain drove you to.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin bows his head, throat dry and eyes burning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What will happen to me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you think you deserve?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...” That wasn’t a question Anakin had imagined being asked. “I don’t know. My memories of those days are still clouded. I don’t think I see clearly, or think clearly. Part of me screams that they deserved it. They killed so many people and what they did to my mother...” he pauses staring down at his hands. “But now I wake every night trying to wipe blood off my face. I look down at my robes during the day expecting to see splashes. If I thought what I did was right, I wouldn’t feel so sick. Flashes of it wouldn’t come back to me all the time, it wouldn’t haunt me like this.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not a clear cut, is this.” Yoda looks into the distance, hands propped on his stick. “That some of those deaths were not justified, I will not claim. But approve of revenge we never can. Just it could be, but controlled it never is. The wronged must never deliver judgement, lest they go too far.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I went too far,” Anakin whispers. That is what he has been beginning to face. It is not the warrior’s deaths that haunt him. It is everyone else.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. Blinded by your hatred you were. Blamed a whole people for the actions of just a few.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes,” he sighs, feeling strangely more peaceful, even in his despair, to have all of it said out loud. “Will I be sent to the new Citadel?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda taps his claws on top of his stick.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The point of incarceration, what is it?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin shrugs, it’s not something he’s ever considered. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To punish people.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A part of it. First, take responsibility for their crimes, people must. Change in order to return to society. Protect others, incarcerating the guilty can.” Anakin nods. “Take responsibility for your crime, you do, by coming to me. Ready to give up your freedom, you are. A danger to others, are you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No!” Yoda gives him a heavy look and Anakin takes a moment to actually think. After all, being a danger to others is most of what he does as a general. “Not to the innocent.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And decide, do you, who is innocent?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...the Council decides, mostly.” He drops his face into his hands “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Begin to understand, do you. Not so simple, is it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda stares at him for a long moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To remove you from the front lines, my first step, would be. But ill afford the loss, we can. Continue to work with me you shall. If the war is won, return to Tattooine together, will we. Destroy a people you tried, in a small way. Understand those people you must, to understand what you destroyed.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You mean...I’m not being...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Crave a return to the dark, do you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Force, no. Touching the dark, it reminds me of,” he swallows convulsively, “the slaughter. And of my mother’s death.” He sees relief spread across Yoda’s face. “Some of the darksiders we fight, they seem balanced. Not balanced like Jedi strive to be, but stable. I can’t imagine falling and being like that. When Obi-Wan fell he was positively enjoying himself.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fall, he did not. Full of darkness, he was but it did not come from within. Choose to fall you did not, took only the first step down the path. Not the first Jedi to do so, are you. Difficult it is to turn back. But not impossible. To imprison you, help you do that, it would not. And wish to help you, I do.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.” It means more than he can say that Yoda is still willing to speak to him, to sit in a room with him and offer his help.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Spoke of punishment, you did. It is not the Jedi way and already you punish yourself. Beyond that, to tell Master Kenobi will be punishment enough.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dread rises again in Anakin. He had known this was coming but a cowardly part of himself would rather have been arrested and sent straight to prison than face Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will send him to you. When he is gone, go to deep space and remain there for three rotations. Stop running from your crime you must. Meditate on it, then return to us and speak to the mind healers. Go with you to them I will, if you wish it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I would appreciate that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan hands over Poggle to Commander Fox with as much focus as he can muster. Which isn’t saying much. Cody and Rex act like perfect professionals, while clearly barely restraining themselves from teasing their brother about his cushy Coruscant job. Even though they’d both hate to be in shoes. Neither of them are happy around politicians and they despise being around the kind of well groomed idiots the capital attracts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In peace time, Obi-Wan quite enjoys trying to bring the well bred idiots around to a more sensible point of view. But these days he can’t stop thinking about how much damage their ignorance does. He deliberately ignores a few people trying to catch his eye and tries not to worry about Anakin. He’d expected the chaos that had disrupted his force presence in the desert to dissipate as Anakin’s moods usually did. But not this time. Hyperspace had dimmed their bond but apprehension, stress and fear had bled through all the same. Over coms Anakin and been all smiles and reassurances but it wasn’t particularly believable. When they’d emerged from hyperspace Obi-Wan had expected the same rush of warmth as last time but instead he found Anakin had drawn up tight shields and nothing was slipping through.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Yoda calls him he’s almost relieved, the force has been whispering all morning with a sense of impending doom and he’s glad the wait is over. If Anakin went to speak to Yoda, it’s unlikely to be all that bad.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll be right there.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he enters the meeting room he finds it in semi darkness, with Yoda and Anakin in deep, joint meditation. Is this just another lesson? Why has he been called?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda blinks his eyes open and his face is grave.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Leave you, I will.” He moves slowly from the room and closes the door behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin, what’s all this about?” He walks over to Anakin’s seated form and touches his flesh hand only for Anakin to flinch away as he emerges from meditation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Obi-Wan,” Anakin’s voice is shaky and he resettles himself, tucking his hands into his robe and gesturing to the other meditation couch. “Would you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He goes willingly but his emotions are raw with anxiety and confusion. What is this about? Why would Anakin flinch from him? Has he decided their relationship is inappropriate and sought Master Yoda’s advice in ending it?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...” Anakin starts and then seems unable to continue. He presses his lips together and then tries again. “There’s something I haven’t told you and I can’t...I can’t do it anymore.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can tell me anything.” Anakin closes his eyes tightly, as if in pain, and then opens them to stare straight at Obi-Wan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I share the memory?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan nods quickly, he’s shamefully glad Anakin is willing to drop his shields again. Talking with him like this makes him feel like he’s walking around with his eyes shut.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When his mind reaches out it’s Obi-Wan’s turn to flinch. Anakin’s mind is knotted up with tension, worse than anything he’s ever felt. The pictures come in flashes and then start to even out. A glimpse of Obi-Wan before he cut his hair, images of Senator Amidala and Naboo, the feeling of teenage infatuation. Is that where this is going?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But then the tone changes and pain rushes through him, he sees a woman crying out in agony and knows it to be Anakin’s mother. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He wakes night after night dreaming the same thing and not understanding why. Tattooine’s suns beat down on his face and emotions flood through him. There’s infatuation with the beautiful senator he’s been sent to protect, shame, anger, confusion. He sees his old Master again, finds he has a step father and a brother.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">And under it all, fear and pain. He’s not surprised to hear Shmi has been taken, he knew it in his bones. It’s not the first time something like this has happened on an outlying settlement. Tusken Raiders and the others people’s on Tattooine have skirmished for as long as anyone can remember. Twenty six is a lot to lose to a skirmish though. Dimly, he’s glad his mother found people who loved her enough to fight so hard to get her back. Even if they failed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He’s drawn across the sands like a magnet, called by her pain. Just in time to se her die.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait, Anakin was with her when she died?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The only person who has ever told him they loved him. He cuts her loose and cradles her body until she recognises him. He has enough training to feel how broken she is but not skill to do anything about it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Oh, Anakin. Dread begins to build in Obi-Wan</span> <span class="s2">. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Some chosen one. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Grief overwhelms him until he hears the warriors celebrating outside the tent. Then that grief ignites and turns to rage. Power rushes into him, sudden and intoxicating and he drinks it down until he can barely see through the red in his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Force, no. Please, no.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He cuts through the Tuskens in minutes and he makes sure he’s thorough. No one here is innocent. It doesn’t matter if they fight back or if they cower over their children. He kills every living soul. Even the animals. They’re all animals really. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan slams up his shields and throws himself backwards. He sprawls on the floor, one hand on the meditation couch and dry heaves. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hears Anakin let out a broken sound behind him and his shields slam down. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You killed them, all of them. How could you... How could I not know!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were busy on Geonosis.” Anakin says, his voice dull. “And I shielded from you constantly back then.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even so, what kind of master had Obi-Wan been that he hadn’t noticed his padawan slaughter a village and drown in the dark?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why didn’t you tell me?” Even before he finishes speaking Obi-Wan thinks better of the question, Anakin had been so much less stable back then and he’d never trusted the Council. His first instinct would always have been to hide it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“In the arena on Geonosis? It wasn’t like there was much time. And then I woke up in a bacta tank.” His voice becomes more distant. “It seemed kind of fitting. Like the force had arranged it’s own punishment.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d lost a part of his soul and part of his body. How could that possibly be considered payment for murder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not how it works Anakin!” He finally turns to face him again. “Lives can’t be paid for in blood.” Anakin flinches but there’s anger in his eyes as well. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just in credits then? Like Qui-Gon bought me but left my mother to die? I was bought for the midichlorians in my blood. Just a different kind of commodity to the Jedi than I was on Tattooine.” Dimly Obi-Wan registers how horrifying it is that Anakin sees his history that way. How has he gone on believing that after all this years?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How is that relevant?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It isn’t.” Anakin deflates slightly, going distant once again.” I killed them, I can’t change that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You shouldn’t even have gone to Tattooine.” Again Obi-Wan cringes to hear the words come out of his mouth. The memory of Anakin’s loss and grief still echo in his mind, mixing with the screams of the dying. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I knew that’s what you would say, that I was imagining things, that I’d never had visions before, so it was probably just nightmares!” His voice gets louder until he’s spitting out the words. “That Jedi don’t have attachments.” Anakin strides towards him, anger painted across his face as he shouts. “You never wanted me to see her again.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s hardly the first time he’s seen Anakin angry but now it’s different. All he can see is how that anger led straight to hate and death. Just as the masters had predicted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly Anakin seems to collapse in on himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So I only saw her die. I should have gone sooner.” He sucks in a breath and straightens. “I should have gone sooner and with someone else. Someone who could keep me balanced.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone not Obi-Wan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite his horror he can see how far Anakin has come since then. He’s so much more balanced. Far from falling further, he’s clawed his way upwards, it seems like one taste was enough to turn him away from the dark side. Even in the middle of a war he’s becoming brighter, lighter, he even kept the dark from swallowing Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It doesn’t matter, Obi-Wan can’t process this. It feels like his image of Anakin, of them both, has been struck by lightning and broken in two.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin watches him and when Obi-Wan says nothing he closes his eyes and turns away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master Yoda has decided I will retain my command under his guidance.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?!” How can that be the right decision? Anger builds inside Obi-Wan, Anakin is a mass murderer, he shouldn’t hold a command. He needs help, not to be surrounded by violence.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know you disagree. I am sure the Council will deploy us separately if you ask.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was not what Obi-Wan meant, although he can’t deny he doesn’t want to look at Anakin right now. He feels like Anakin has spread poison through his veins. The man he loves, the apprentice he trained...Obi-Wan has failed him so completely. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That might be best.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin flinches minutely then bows his head formally to him, wraps his robes around himself and sweeps out of the room.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I won’t leave this hanging for long. I had to write all this mini arc at once to make sure I didn’t get so depressed with the situation I gave up on the fic entirely. Not kidding about hating writing angst.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for all the comments! You are all wonderful. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has OPINIONS about Anakin’s murderous past.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Master Yoda is waiting for him outside the room and walks with him to the the hangar. Moving blindly through those halls without breaking into pieces is the hardest thing Anakin has ever done. He’s pathetically grateful for Yoda’s unspoken support. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they reach the Twilight, he kneels before the tiny master.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Go with the force. To the force, listen. To any other whispers or calls, do not listen. At your most vulnerable, are you now.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Master.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Despair, do not. Go and come back to us.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He punches in coordinates almost at random, only stopping to make sure there’s nothing within light years of his destination. As he flies, his mind remains blank and he pushes down every memory of the morning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s only when he drops out of hyperspace that he lets himself break down. He wedges himself into a corner of the shuttle and remembers every word that Obi-Wan said, pictures his back heaving as he retched to see what Anakin had done. He sobs until his head is splitting and his face burns. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Laying mental fingers along the edge of his bond with Obi-Wan, it takes all his control not to push against the barriers between them. He desperately wants to reach out, it seems impossible to hold all this desperate longing inside of him. How can he just turn off those feelings? Muffle that light? It has to go somewhere doesn’t it?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But as much as it doesn’t feel like it, this isn’t about him and Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When his raging emotions calm, memories of Tattooine surface once again but this time he sees them clearly. Sees the families he killed and his mother’s compassion. It would have destroyed her to know what Anakin had done. He deserves so much worse than the fate Yoda has offered. He certainly never deserved Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulls on a space suit and goes out to drift above his ship for as long as the oxygen lasts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next few days fall into the same pattern, he eats and sleeps just enough to keep himself going and spends as much time as possible in the black, with only the stars for company.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He recognises none of the systems around him and it’s like being a child again, before his mother had taught him the names of the constellations. First, he’d learned to navigate by them, deserts were changeable and deceiving, the stars were constant, reliable. After that he’d been insatiable, he’d found or borrowed datapads and learnt all he could about the galaxy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Back then, stars had seemed like fixed points but even they burn out. He stares at the distant points of light ahead of him through the transparisteel of his visor. Many of them will already be dead. He could set a course for them, knowing full well when he dropped out of hyperspace they’d be cold and dark.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He nearly falls asleep in the space suit several times and drifts close to the edge of unconsciousness, eventually losing track of time entirely.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At one point, he thinks he might feel an inquisitive whisper, just as Yoda warned. He can’t tell if it’s real, the O2 tanks running low again, but it feels slimy against his mind and he shrugs it away and sinks deeper, letting his presence dissolve across vacuum, as wide as possible. He can almost lose his sense of self like this and just listen to the silence.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When his eyes blink open, he sees a shuttle hanging in the air some distance away. He squeezes his eyes shut and opens them again but it’s still there and he’s being hailed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sir, Master Yoda wants to know if you’re ready to come in.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda may have sent a polite request but Rex’s voice is promising retribution. Anakin starts to respond but the words stick in his dry throat and he coughs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rex,” his voice is thick with emotion. “Want to help me fly home?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes,” the word is heavy, relieved and the “sir” that follows is barely remembered.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He brings Rex up to speed on the journey back to Coruscant in halting, incomplete sentences, as he shivers into a blanket. Rex eventually gets tired of his chattering teeth and rummages through the shuttle before returning with a heat pack. When they arrive at the city planet Anakin freezes as he automatically goes to dock at the Temple but Rex takes the controls and drags him back to the barracks and the 501st. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finds out later that it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d gone back to their old rooms, Obi-Wan was already on his way to Mandalore.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rex herds him to the mess and pushes food at him until he eats a full meal. He’s dead on his feet and barely notices what going on around him. Clones come and go, despite the late hour, laughing and joking as they wind down. Some stop in to talk to Rex, while they eye Anakin curiously. One of them has lightning bolts across his chest plate and a neatly painted red A over his sternum.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lightning, what’s the A for?” Anakin asks, it feels familiar.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For you, sir!” He sounds surprised. “Anyone who you’ve healed has starting adding it to their markings.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?” Anakin does usually mark any troopers he’s healed on the battlefield with an A, the same way field medics do for men who’ve been given meds. It lets the doctors back at base know that someone’s been in there before them; that they might be more delicate than they look. Anakin only ever really works on clones who would otherwise die, so it makes sense. He looks blearily around the mess and see a couple more red A’s dotted among the men. Through the fog of exhaustion in his mind he feels a spark of pride and gratitude.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lightning, you have room in your dorm tonight?” Rex asks and when the man nods he gestures at Anakin. “The general is bunking with us tonight. Can you get him sorted out?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir!” He seems confused but mostly excited at the prospect.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rex leaves Anakin to Lightning’s care and he’s hustled to the platoon’s dorm. The bunks are triple stacked and built into the wall. Lightning talks cheerfully at him and Anakin lets it wash over him soothingly. He’s handed some red sleep clothes and pulls them on before climbing into an empty bunk.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He falls asleep surrounded by the sounds of nine others winding down, whispering and finally quieting as they drift off. For the first time in what seems like forever he doesn’t dream.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wakes before the others and stretches toes bumping against the edge of a bunk built for someone shorter. His heart aches and the closed off bond feels like severed limb but his mind is more settled. Slipping down to the floor, he settles into a meditative pose at the base of the ladder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing?” He opens his eyes to see Lightning’s eyes peering curiously at him from the opposite bunk.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Meditating.” He keeps his voice equally quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is it a Jedi thing, sir?” Anakin’s mouth twitches, he hasn’t talked to Lightning much when the man wasn’t three quarters dead but he seems pretty irrepressible. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes and no. Jedi meditate, oh, so much. But we’re not the only ones. It helps slow your mind. Helps you focus.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like something my staff sergeant would kill for us to learn.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. He would,” says a grumpy, muffled voice from a couple of bunks over and Lightning grins.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would you like to learn?” Anakin can guess the answer and narrowly avoids rolling his eyes when Lightning immediately scrambles off his bunk and slides to floor in front of him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin sighs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If anyone else would like to join us you’re very welcome.” A couple of men drop down neatly on either side of him and another rolls out of his bunk, blanket still attached, and shuffles over. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright then.” He takes them through a simple guided meditation he’s run for some of the younglings before. It wasn’t what he’d intended to do but after his intense sessions in deep space it’s actually pretty refreshing. He can feel the minds of the men around him dimly. Some are still asleep, some haven’t joined in and their minds are a diffuse buzz. But most of those who have joined him seem to be doing well and he can feel their presences brighten ever so slightly as they focus. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the force, the clones have always stood out as individuals, even before they started to show it in their appearances. But there is a sort of linked, receptive commonality to their minds. Perhaps it’s their shared DNA, or just that they share so much experience and purpose.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He keeps the session short and wraps up quickly before everyone gets too desperate for breakfast. In the mess hall, he’s amused to hear some of the platoon boasting about having their general visit and teach them new things. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When’s he’s checked in with Rex, he returns to the Temple and spends several hours first with Master Yoda and then in the Archives. He’s been instructed to research the sorry history of the Tusken Raiders and Tattooine in general, so that he starts to understand the cycle of violence he’s became a part of. It seems a little academic and divorced from the reality of it all but what does he know? He’s certainly learning that Tattooine’s history doesn’t get any less shitty the farther back you go. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he emerges, he has several missed coms from the Chancellor and a few more he hadn’t noticed from the days he was off world. But it’s just polite inquiries and social invitations, so he shoots a quick missive off apologising and heads back to the barracks. He doesn’t have the energy to discuss the war right now. And the Chancellor’s views so often conflict with the Jedi’s stance. It’s not that Anakin doesn’t agree with him but he’s not so stupid that he can’t recognise he’s hanging on a thread right now. It’s not the time to be discussing the finer points of policy and ethics.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead, he trains with a few of the men of Torrent Company who’re down from the orbiting Resolute and spends the night back in the same dorm.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he rises to meditate he’s welcomed by expectant faces, already seated on the floor. More than yesterday. His face twitches into a reluctant smile. The idea of him teaching meditation might raise eyebrows among the other Jedi but he’s grateful to the men. He’s relying heavily on regular meditation to keep a lid on his barely balanced emotions but when he sinks deep into the force, the absence of Obi-Wan is at its most obvious. The company of the clones is deeply appreciated and he tries as best he can to send that emotion their way, despite the lack of a bond to transfer it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After breakfast, a few of the platoon he’s been bunking with persuade him to join them on a trip to the lower levels. He’s suspicious Rex has given orders to keep an eye on him but they seem genuinely keen on his company. They’re worried they’ll be redeployed before they get a chance to explore and while Anakin hasn’t heard anything about a new mission, that’s never a guarantee. He hears where they were planning to go and immediately redirects them. Force knows how the men don’t get into more trouble when they’re planet side if that’s the kind of recommendations they get. They wander around a market together looking for paint, spices, music and the weirdest human safe street food they can get their hands on. Anakin nearly loses them entirely when he gets drawn into a repair centre and comes out with various bits of hard and software that the clones back on the ship who like to tinker will be thrilled with.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The days settle into much the same routine. He bounces between sleeping at the barracks and studying at the Temple with Yoda and one of the mind healers. Eventually he gets around to returning to the Resolute and after that, Yoda comes to him and they spend more time out in space, trying to rebuild Anakin’s shaky foundations.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On evening, he finds Anakin buried underneath a damaged droideka Ram had persuaded his squad to help him salvage after a battle. Most of the workshop is taken up with battle droids in various stages of disrepair. Most are flashing some sort of rude hand signal with their clunky fingers, courtesy of one of the clones with a less than subtle sense of humour. One’s even wearing an officer’s cap. Anakin’s pretending he hasn’t seen that so he doesn’t have to do anything about it. Droidekas are both the favourite and most hated model of the clones with an interest in this sort of thing. They’ve all lost brothers to them and yet the design is so viciously perfect. Such a contrast to the battle droids. Why anyone bothers with humanoid forms for fighting is beyond them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Said you would be here, your Captain did. Drag yourself away, can you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master Yoda! I wasn’t expecting you until....” he checks his wrist, “ah.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yoda grunts a laugh and pokes at the droid with his stick.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Balanced, you feel, surrounded by all this.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Droids are, simple, Master.” R2 whistles at him indignantly. “Not you R2. No one would call you simple.” He’s reminded of the low level hostilities Obi-Wan and R2 had always maintained and carefully pushes away the accompanying wave of pain.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For a droid, a surprising presence in the force, has this one,” says Yoda inspecting a slowly retreating R2. Anakin hums in surprise, he’s never really thought about it but it’s true. To his eyes the force is as strong in R2 as any regular sentient. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come. Far we have, to go tonight.” Anakin shrugs his outer robes back on and fastens his belt, tugging on his lightsaber to confirm it’s secure.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where are we going?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Visited, have you, the Kaliida Nebula?” He sounds smug and Anakin pauses.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. Wait, that’s the one with... Master Yoda!” The tiny master just chuckles to himself and hobbles faster, back towards his shuttle.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they come out of hyperspace, he’s just finished telling Master Yoda about the clones’ new interest in meditation. When he’d returned to the Resolute, word had spread and Anakin now has to hold the sessions in a much larger room than the cramped dorms. Yoda is pleased, like Obi-Wan he is clearly uneasy about the creation and treatment of the clones. If they can offer them some peace, then he approves.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They bring their attention to the nebula ahead of them, glowing softly in pink, yellow and orange. Anakin remembers the last time he was here with Shadow Squadron, thinking the secret Balmorra Run an easy way to beat Grievous. He can admit he should have done a bit more research on that one. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As they glide inside, visibility is low, clouds of gases and dust press in upon them and, as they fly, they have to have to feel their way. When the first contact blips on the radar they stop the shuttle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You really think we should go out there with them?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hero With No Fear is scared of a few mantas, hmm?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not...I’m not scared of them! But that doesn’t mean I’m looking to get up close and personal.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Valuable learning experience, it will be.” Yoda’s tone is serious but his eyes dance and Anakin strongly suspects the master is having fun at his expense.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmmm.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin pulls on a spacesuit and jet pack and makes sure he has remote access to the shuttle in case they drift too far. Yoda has brought one of his hover seats, modified for the vacuum. Anakin wants to take it apart and see how it works. Especially if he could do that instead of dangling himself in front of some Gas Gulpers like a tempting snack.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But reservations or not, he owes Yoda more than he can say for his faith in him. So out they go. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At first, the Mantas are only dark shapes behind the clouds but soon the tip of a wing sweeps past them and Anakin’s heart leaps into his mouth. Force, he’d forgotten how big they are. It’s like standing next to the Resolute. If the Resolute had really, really big teeth. And eyes, too many eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hears Yoda’s most manic laugh over the com and his hovercraft zips forward. Anakin swears under his breath and chases after him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To be honest, diving between the massive animals is pretty fun. Last time he’d been here, he’d had the clones to worry about but now he just has to listen to the force and react. The mantas’ signatures are breathtaking, almost too big to notice at first. They’re so huge it’s hard to register of them as living beings. It’s like flying through a sentient asteroid field.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Heart racing, he emerges into the centre of their feeding spiral alongside Master Yoda. He drifts and stares at them, their enormous mouths opening and closing as they graze on the gases. He bets Obi-Wan could speak to them, he’s always had a way with animals.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Feel them in the force, you do.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, they’re...indescribable.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Feel past them. Good reason there is, why I brought you here.” Anakin closes his eyes and opens his mind wider. Power rushes in. The force is as strong as he has ever felt it, wild and free. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The force...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The cosmic and the living. An intersection this is, between the two.” When he puts it like that Anakin can feel it. And it feels right. As if this is the kind of place that most closely mirrors the force within him. “Perhaps one of the places this is, that life began. Feed directly from the gases the mantas do. From there, develop can other life forms that depend on the mantas. Begins so, the cycle.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin glides forward and reaches out a hand to trail against the hide of a manta as it passes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s beautiful.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This nebula may have birthed the first mantas and in time a new star might even be born from it. If this is the force he will return to when he passes, it doesn’t seem so bad. He could almost set aside his incessant need to claw up everything life offers and swallow it whole. When he releases the flare of shame and sorrow that comes with that thought, it’s easy, the tides of the force just wash it away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hears Yoda hum in satisfaction behind him and turns to look back. The master has started to sink into meditation and with the force so intense, Anakin can see how the lines of power are realigning around him like a magnetic field. He becomes a funnel through which the force passes. Behind his half closed eyes Anakin sees white light start to shine from beneath green skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan was right to say the Jedi rarely use a fraction of the power they have access to. It’s part of understanding the fragile nature of the balance to know when not to use the force. The closer one comes to it, the more you see how perfect the flow is and how little reason there is to disrupt it. Only in the presence of Sith, or where the scales had already been tipped does it become necessary. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once Anakin had thought that meant the Jedi were weak.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He settles himself alongside Master Yoda and sinks into his own core of power. Dimly he wonders if Yoda has brought anyone else here. How long has it been since the master had worked with someone who had a midichlorian count like his own? Who could feel the force with the same intensity he did?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You are all so lovely XD I’m glad you enjoyed the stuff with Rex and Yoda. I enjoyed writing Yoda so much more than I thought I would. I always loved how much of a troll he is at first in Empire Strikes Back. He’s represented so grimly sometimes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By the time that Obi-Wan is ready to return to Coruscant with Satine’s delegation he feels like he’s shot straight past his breaking point and is drifting pointlessly somewhere on the other side. He tries to remember when he last felt this unbalanced. Perhaps in the wake of Qui-Gon's death? But this time there’s no sense of purpose, no dying wish to focus on. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Anakin had turned and left him in that meeting room he’d almost chased straight after him. He'd had nothing in mind to say, it just felt inconceivable to watch him walk away. When he'd gone to find him later, Yoda had informed him Anakin was already gone. Sent away from all the distractions of the city to meditate on his crime. Obi-Wan can’t help feeling like Yoda is naming him as one of those distractions.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And it is so little, meditation for someone who massacred a village. Obi-Wan can’t understand how easily Yoda seems to have accepted what Anakin has done. It’s seems like he expected it and when he asks, trying to keep the note of accusation out of his voice, he finds out that’s pretty close to the truth. When Anakin had gone to a Tattooine, Yoda had felt his pain and despair all the way on Coruscant. That revelation brings another crushing wave of guilt. How had Yoda known but not Obi-Wan? He'd been Anakins master, they’d had a training bond, how could he have been so blind. Anger rockets around inside him, flaring up without warning, at Anakin, at Yoda, at himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then he finds he’s been called to Mandalore of all places. The force must he laughing at him. Or punishing him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Until Anakin, Satine had always held the medal for the person most likely to disrupt Obi-Wan’s carefully cultivated aura of calm. Their fights during the year they spent on the run with Qui-Gon had nearly got them caught too many times to count. He'd thought she would be the ultimate test of his conviction and loyalty to the order. He has a feeling that after the way he acted, if he had left with her, Qui-Gon would have breathed a sigh of relief.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Speeding through the chill night of Mandalore’s moon with her, he wishes she were his greatest test. Wishes it were that simple. She's an amazing woman, so headstrong and passionate. He kicks himself internally every time he finds himself comparing her to Anakin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin’s in his quarters with Rex, poring over supply requisitions when the com from the Council comes in sending him to Mandalore in support of Obi-Wan. He stutters out a confirmation and dimly tries to take in the rest of their briefing. He sees sympathy in Yoda’s eyes as he signs off.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I thought General Kenobi was requesting not to deploy with us anymore?” Rex says in an overly natural voice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So did I.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Has he changed his mind then?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I doubt it.” Anakin’s mouth twists. “You should have seen his face, Rex. This is going to be...” His voice trails off and he drags a hand down his face. Appalling doesn’t really </span>
  <span class="s1">cover it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How can we help, sir?” Anakin groans but sends Rex a smile of devout thanks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shoot me in the foot?” He thinks for a moment. “The meditation helps. And call Yoda if I look like I might go off the deep end.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright. Well we’re not getting any more of this done tonight,” he says chucking the datapads back on the desk. “Lets go round up some of the brothers you’ve suborned to your Jedi ways. They’re always to happy to laze about and ‘meditate’.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure you don’t want to join us?” Rex gives him an unimpressed look but to Anakin’s surprise he lets out a long suffering sigh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well you look like a kicked womp-rat right now, sir. Difficult to refuse, not very dignified.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well that’s accurate. Poor Rex, he doesn’t deserve Anakin’s drama. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks.” Rex looks surprised at the serious tone of voice when he’d clearly been trying to wind Anakin up. “I don’t know what I would have done without you and your brothers.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The vode stick to his side like glue during the outward trip and he leans on them hard as he sees Obi-Wan again for the first time. He looks as calm and poised as ever, as if nothing ever happened. The sight of him makes Anakin want to turn tail and run, or possibly throw himself at his feet in front of everyone and beg forgiveness.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Obi-Wan just gives him a nod and plunges into a briefing on the situation with Mandalore. He sucks in a discrete breath and lets it out slowly, it’s okay, he can compartmentalise. He’s had a lot of practice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the elevator afterwards, he feels Rex’s worry pressing against him ghost-like. Anakin’s clearly triggered all his protective instincts and his very sweet tendency to hover is a nice distraction while Anakin’s bond with Obi-Wan gapes like an open wound.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Obi-Wan briefs the assembled troops from the 212th and 501st, they all notice an unusual lack of warmth around him. At first, Anakin assumes its all about him but a few minutes are enough to disabuse him. He steels himself and asks about it. After all, if they are going to work together they will have to speak at some point.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I sense some anxiety from you about the Duchess. She couldn’t be in safer hands.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know,” Obi-Wan’s voice is curt but at least he’s speaking.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then why...?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never mind. It’s...all in the past.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh!” Well that’s a gut punch from out of the blue. Anakin knows Obi-Wan must have had lovers before but strangely he’d never considered he might actually meet one of them. He must still feel for her very strongly, if Anakin is sensing anxiety for her through a closed bond. “So you’re close to her.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I knew her!” His voice is angry this time and it’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about it. Anakin can relate. “A long time ago.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reeling from that revelation Anakin follows quietly as they head for the Duchess’ rooms. When they get inside, she is everything Anakin might have dreaded. Perfect, poised, untouchable. Like Padme but without the warmth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She calls his master a ‘collection of half truths and hyperbole’ and Anakin feels shock and cold anger wash through him. He’s not fond of this Duchess so far. He supposed you could say sparks are flying between her and Obi-Wan but blaster shots might be closer. There is no passion only peace, indeed, Master. It’s clear she knows him well enough to understand which pointed comments will hit the hardest.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan introduces him as a fellow Jedi and Anakin wonders if the words leave a bitter taste in his master’s mouth. He certainly feels like a fraud when he calls himself a ‘protector’. But he does believe it, he believes they are fighting for peace as much as she sneers at the idea. He would do no less when the cost is paid in the lives of the clones. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After that he tries to fade into the background. He’s never been a fan of rooms full of politicians at the best of times and this one is particularly tense.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If someone had told him a few weeks ago about this mission, he would have thought watching Obi-Wan and Satine sniping at each other would make him bitterly jealous. Their back and forth I s not a million miles from how he and Obi-Wan have acted on occasion. But to be honest it’s making him more worried than jealous. Obi-Wan seems raw, he’s off balance and emotional. Guilt gnaws at him. After Anakin’s confession, Obi-Wan had gone to Mandalore like this, has been risking his life like this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His heart breaks a little to hear Obi-Wan mock Satine’s ‘delusions of a dreamer’. Anakin’s always thought of Obi-Wan as the dreamer, the one with never ending hope for the galaxy. If Satine knew him years ago and this is her reaction to him now, how much brighter did he used to shine?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He makes a discrete withdrawal and heads down to join the clones and R2. As soon as he hits the lower levels, he can feel something is off and before long they locate Mixer’s body. The shit hits the fan with amazing speed and he and the clones are quickly up to their eyes in assassin droids. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they finally clear the area, they head up to the upper floors leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. Anakin pulls ahead and obeys the force as it whispers to be quiet. He realises why as he approaches muffled voices and releases he’s come upon a hostage situation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He settles in to wait for his moment and hears Obi-Wan admitting something he’d never thought possible.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...hardly the time or place for...Alright. Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi order.” Anakin takes a step back and almost gives his position away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That is touching, truly it is, but it’s making me sick. And we really must be going.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have the romantic soul of a slug, Merrick.” He hears a cry of pain and it seems Satine has engineered her own release. Nice work he acknowledges to himself grudgingly. “And slugs are so often trod upon.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Interesting turn about. But even if I don’t deliver the Duchess alive to the Separatists, I still win. The second I’m away I’ll press the remote and blow the Coronet to bits.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will not allow that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What will you do? You shoot me, you prove yourself a hypocrite to every pacifist ideal you hold dear.” Surely even Satine would make an exception to save that many lives? “And you, Kenobi,” he sneers, “you are no stranger to violence, you’d be hailed as a hero by everyone on this ship.” His voices changes going high pitches and simpering. “Almost everyone.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What a self-satisfied, smug, son of bitch.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on then. Who will strike first and brand themselves a cold blooded killer?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obviously, Merrick doesn’t know ‘Kenobi’ very well. His master would never sacrifice innocents just to protect his image. But Anakin can save him from the pain of being seen as a monster by someone he loves. One of them in that position is enough right now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He steps up behind Merrick and severs the man’s arm with a quick twirl of his lightsaber, catching the limb and detonator as they fall. Merrick screams in horror and clutches at the stump in horror. Anakin isn’t all that sympathetic, it would have been simpler to kill him. You can move past a severed limb.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anakin,” Obi-Wan half sighs, as Satine covers her mouth in shock and horror.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He was going to blow up the ship, Master.” He hears the clones arrive behind them as Satine reaches out to Obi-Wan, her voice tortured. Perhaps now that Obi-Wan has realised how misplaced his trust was in Anakin, he and Satine can reconnect. He listens to Cody’s report and tries to ignore the black hole in his chest.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later that day, they stand on the docks as Satine prepares to go. Anakin had seen her touching his Master’s face and ripped his gaze away. He berates himself for the reaction and tells himself he deserves it. Obi-Wan certainly deserves a pacifist, not a murderer. Watching the man he loves look at someone else like that is a grave Anakin has dug for himself. He forces himself to stand at Obi-Wan’s shoulder as he watches her go.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A very remarkable woman.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She is indeed.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And that is as much as he can stand. Rex and the 501st are waiting for him on the other side of the platform and he walks over to them in a daze. Whisper and Credit crowd into him worriedly, while Rex slings an arm round his neck. He smiles a little even as his eyes burn, at their support and to feel like he isn’t alone. Right now, losing Obi-Wan doesn’t feel like something he can survive but maybe that will change one day with friends like these. And if it doesn’t? They’re at war after all, none of the men around him really expect to survive. Why should he be any different?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Anakin strides away from him, Obi-Wan cracks open his shields and reaches for the bond. Instantly, heartbreak floods through and he gasps. Anakin has been acting so calm, as if nothing was different or wrong. Has he been feeling like this the whole time? Obi-Wan wraps up the mission in a daze and goes back to the Temple, heading instinctively for where he assumes Anakin will be.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But when he enters their rooms he finds them cold and dark. It's clear Anakin hasn't been here, probably since before Geonosis. Obi-Wan moves blindly through the lifeless space, filled with the odds and ends of their life together. He hits the refresher and pulls on clean robes mechanically. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He's been turning everything over in his mind, not intentionally but every time his attention wanders it’s there. Rationally, he knows Yoda is right. Condemning Anakin for what he did accomplishes nothing. He fell and came back and has never returned to the dark, he can be saved. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he fell so far. So quickly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Logic aside, Obi-Wan still feels sick with betrayed trust and shame.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He should have known. He did know that there was something he was missing. In retrospect, Anakin had been at the point of telling him, multiple times. That’s was what his reaction in the desert had been about. They have a kriffing force bond. How did he not know Anakin was flashing back to what he did. And his mother’s death.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Where is he? Has he made the Resolute his new home? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The idea makes his chest ache and he wanders to the window remembering the last night here together bitterly. Everything had been so fresh, Anakin had looked so gorgeous outlined against the city with the blue light making him glow. Obi-Wan had been half drunk on touching him. And the feeling of being inside his mind. He misses him like oxygen. And hates himself for it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin is a murderer but he loves him just the same.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s almost relieved to realise it, to accept the idea that he’s been pushing away. He can’t be at war with himself anymore. Since not even this has been enough to burn away the love he feels for the man, he will have to try and forgive him. He can’t pretend he’s not going back him anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He takes a shuttle up to the Resolute and runs into Rex as soon as he disembarks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Captain, have you seen Anakin?” Rex gives him a long and slightly poisonous look.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, General. He was headed toward the airlock.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rex sounds calm but irrational panic grips Obi-Wan. Anakin had been felt so full of despair and sadness. He wouldn’t do anything stupid would he? No. But still, space is horrifically dangerous and Anakin is not balanced right now. Obi-Wan sprints over to the airlock while tearing down his shields and reaches out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Anakin, Anakin!</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s right there, just twenty feet out, floating in space. When Obi-Wan reaches out through the bond he staggers and goes to one knee. Anakin is meditating and power rushes into him, he can almost taste it in his mouth, like mineral rich water or breathing in jet fumes. It feels like pure, distilled Anakin but in reality it’s more likely the cosmic side of the force. There’s nowhere in the galaxy he’s felt it as strongly as inside Anakin. He stumbles as Anakin whips around, for a second Obi-Wan think he sees a pale glow surrounding him but then it’s just his worried face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Obi-Wan?</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He powers up the jet pack and heads back to the Resolute, the flow of power fading, replaced by worry and curiosity and relief. Tendrils reach out towards Obi-Wan and then flinch back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Get in here. </em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He rises to his feet and crosses his arms impatiently as the waits for Anakin to pull of his suit and make it through the airlock.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Master, what is it? Did something go wrong with the Duchess’ departure?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now that he has Anakin in front of him, he doesn’t know what to say. They stare at each other wide eyed for a few seconds before Anakin starts to pull away, his voice is tired and his body starting to curl in on itself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you’ve come to...” Obi-Wan cuts him off, words falling out of his mouth he hadn’t expected to say.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry about your mother.” Anakin stares at him in shock. “I’m sorry for everything, I will never understand what it was like for you to grow up on Tattooine and I should have done more to make sure your mother was safe.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anakin wraps his arms around himself and looks away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What happened to my mother....marrying Lars was the best thing that could have happened to her. She was free and she was happy. What happened later,” his jaw tenses. “I haven’t properly worked through yet. But it wasn’t your fault, or the Council’s. I may be a monster but I know that much.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not a monster.” Anakin raises his eyebrows at Obi-Wan and he thinks about that for a moment. What better definition of monster is there than someone who murders children in their beds? Anakin was certainly a monster that day. But every day since? He is a hero to the clones. To all the planets they’vefought on since. To all the people he’s saved.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think you believe that, Master.” Anakin says softly, he breaths in slowly and lets it out. “If there’s nothing you needed, I think I need to get back to my meditation.” His voice trembles slightly as he turns to go an Obi-Wan finds his voice again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I believe that you have fought every day since then, for what is right.” Anakin’s strides slow and he comes to a shaky halt. Obi-Wan steps forward and walks slowly after him. “I believe that you drowned in darkness that day and haven’t touched it again since. That you pulled me out of it instead of diving into it with me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lays a tentative hand on Anakin’s back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>I believe I love you.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Don’t...don’t say that. You can’t.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In spite of his words Anakin turns to look Obi-Wan in the eye. His face half despair, half hope. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I can’t not.</em> He smiles through slightly blurry eyes and pushes a memory through their bond. <em>You told me once I felt like the other half of you. You are mine. My love. I can’t abandon you. I won’t.</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Anakin closes his eyes and tears roll down his face. Obi-Wan reaches for his face, wishing he wasn’t wearing gloves as his fingertips meet skin and the urge to kiss him rises up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Generals!” Rex is standing a few feet away looking distinctly frustrated. “Perhaps somewhere other than the hangar would be better for this.” Anakin pulls back slightly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, thanks Rex.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Rex....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>